Wiki143:Featured article candidates/Pilot (30 Rock)/archive1
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- The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 04:45, 10 June 2008 [1].
Pilot (30 Rock)
Self-nominator - I'm nominating this article for featured article because I have successfully brought this article to Good Article status. I feel that I have brought this article to an even higher standard since it became a Good Article. I have compared this article to similar Featured Articles (at their time of promotion), such as Pilot (House) and The Last Temptation of Krust and I believe that this article is of the standard of those similar article. If this article currently does not meet the FA standards, i'll happily make changes. Jamie jca (talk) 21:37, 4 June 2008 (UTC)
- I see no major problems. Looks well written and referenced. Support. (Ibaranoff24 (talk) 22:23, 4 June 2008 (UTC))
Comments
- Numerical ranges need to use an en dash, per WP:DASH; an example is: "18-49"
- "until August, 2006 when" — unlink lone months and years per MOS:UNLINKYEARS
- "filmed in March, 2006." — same deal as above
Gary King (talk) 00:24, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- Oppose Needs some polishing. Some examples of problems:
- "Pilot" is the first episode of the first season of the American situation comedy 30 Rock, which premiered on NBC on October 11, 2006 in the United States.[1] It aired on October 10, 2006 on CTV in Canada[2] and October 11, 2007 in the United Kingdom.
- Strictly speaking, it didn't premier in the US; it premiered in Canada (assuming those dates are correct).
- Fey, as well as appearing as Liz Lemon, acts as the series creator, a writer and an executive producer for the series.
- Awkward.
- The continuity section is sloppy. It's just a list of unrelated ideas. It at least needs some sort of topic sentence, and better transitions.
- ...and prior to the meeting Jonathan (Maulik Pancholy) tells Liz to "put on some decent cloths and go talk to them."
- should that be "clothes"?
- Her various characters were Greta Johansen, The Girlie Show cat wrangler,[4][11][12] Maria, a maid,[5] Elizabeth Taylor,[13] Blue Man, a hallucination who can only be seen by Tracy and Liz,[14] Pamela Smew, the leader of a sensitivity training group,[15] Barbara Walters,[16] Vlem, a prostitute,[17] Martha Blanch, an anti-Girlie Show protester,[18] and Dr. Beauvoir, Liz's doctor.
- How many of these list items are just appositives? For example, is Vlem the prostitute, or did Dratch play a character named Vlem in addition to an unnamed prostitute? To make things clearer, you might want to use semicolons to separate one item from another.
- Is it really necessary to quote all those reviews? A few insightful comments should be sufficient. I know the WP:FICTION crowd is serious about including real world information, but just because a review exists doesn't mean you have to quote it in the article. Zagalejo^^^ 03:10, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I think i've address these comments. I've removed the continuity section because on re-reading the section, it does come across as sloppy and it is pretty trivial anyway. I also shortened the reception section. Does the section need anymore removing? -- Jamie jca (talk) 19:38, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I don't know if that section needs more trimming, but it could use some smoother transitions between sentences. Keep in mind that my comments were just examples of problems. I haven't read every single sentence. It might be better to withdraw the article for now, and let a good copyeditor work his or her way through it. Zagalejo^^^ 18:18, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
- Oppose Needs a lot of work. Simple grammatical errors (note the missing apostrophes in the first paragraph of the lead, misplaced comma: "It introduces the character, Liz Lemon", etc.), repetitious sentence structure, awkward phrasing, informal writing ("various insane stunts"), and many typos tax the reader. Continuity section is a bunch of unrelated trivial ideas cobbled together, which have little to do with the show's continuity. Production section could surely be expanded. Reception is listy and ungrammatical. I'd suggest withdrawing this for now. BuddingJournalist 04:45, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I'll look into these problems now. -- Jamie jca (talk) 19:58, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I've started to try and work on these. I'll keep trying. -- Jamie jca (talk) 21:19, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- P.S. I just noticed your post to Raul's talk page about withdrawing; if you'd like to withdraw this FAC, just post a note saying so on this page, and someone will come along soon to archive it. You can then work on the article at your own pace, and bring it back here whenever you feel the article meets FA standard. BuddingJournalist 21:16, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
Comments
One link (Arizona Republic) is showing up dead with the link checker and it is dead on clicking it.Current ref 26 "D. Allen, Marc "Polished Rock Rolls On" is lacking a publisher.What makes http://www.tifaux.com/ a reliable source?While its not wrong to link to IMDb for Director's GUild awards, wouldn't it make more sense to link to the DG site itself?
- Otherwise sources look good, links checked out (except for the one above) with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:22, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
- I'm sorry for the delay; I'll withdraw it now. Please see WP:FAC/ar and leave the {{fac}} template on the talk page until the bot goes through. I hope to see you back as soon as the article is ready. SandyGeorgia (Talk) 04:43, 10 June 2008 (UTC)
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.