Talk:Malcolm Hardee
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Untitled
This article feels a little unbelievable - as though random facts from his act have been incorporated into the article as though they were entirely true. Secretlondon 18:26, 13 August 2005 (UTC)
- He was rather wacky - what's the gripe? The curate's egg 19:24, 27 August 2005 (UTC)
- This Wikipedia entry is a very low-key version of Malcolm's life. I knew him for 20 years and wrote his autobiography for him. We are talking here about a man who famously drove a tractor - naked - through the middle of performance artist Eric Bogosian's show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival... and who was detained and questioned by British Special Branch (police) when he was found in the middle of the night on a hotel balcony outside prominent government minister Michael Heseltine's room, wearing nothing but a pair of socks and a leather coat containing £5,200 in cash and a pack of very pornographic playing cards. (He thought it was a friend's room.) I have spoken to people who were present at both incidents. At home, he occasionally put a live goldfish in his mouth to get attention. It was often said of Malcolm, with a lot of justification, that he never had a stage act - his life was his act. thejohnfleming 12:01, 6 May 2006 (UTC)
GA review
Some punctuation issues and some stylistic and prose flow issues, all of which should be relatively easy to fix. Also a few places that need source citations, but a really nice article and sounds like quite the character
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (MoS): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- I've made a few suggestions on how to make the text flow a bit better. Also need to make the punctuation consistent
- a (prose): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (MoS): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (citations to reliable sources): File:Symbol support vote.svg c (OR): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- A couple of places need source citations
- a (references): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (citations to reliable sources): File:Symbol support vote.svg c (OR): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (focused): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- a (major aspects): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (focused): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias: File:Symbol support vote.svg
- Fair representation without bias: File:Symbol support vote.svg
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.: File:Symbol support vote.svg
- No edit wars etc.: File:Symbol support vote.svg
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (appropriate use with suitable captions): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): File:Symbol support vote.svg b (appropriate use with suitable captions): File:Symbol support vote.svg
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail: File:Symbol support vote.svg
- Pass/Fail: File:Symbol support vote.svg
Details:
- Lede could be beefed up a bit with some more details on his actual act, or the fact that he stood for Parliament.
- Be consistent in your useage of footnotes and punctuation. Sometimes the punctuation comes before the footnote, sometimes after. WP:CITE recommends the footnote after the punctuation, but I understand British practice is different? A couple of places have BOTH.(next to last sentence of the lede)
- Same for punctuation and ()'s. Inside or out, it just needs to be consistent over the article.
- Many of the paragraphs are one or two sentences. Consider combining them with surrounding sentences to stop the appearance of choppiness short sentences give the prose.
- The acts and stunts section, the last two sentences in the first paragraph, they don't really need that many citations. (Although it's great to see things cited!)
- Same section, next to last paragraph, the quotation needs to be explicitly cited, even though it is cited at the end of the paragraph. (I just got hit with this on one one of my GAs yesterday, so I know it's easy to miss)
- The clubs section, first paragraph is one incredibly long run on sentence. Consider breaking up into at least two sentences for ease of reading.
- Same section, second paragraph, you have a stray ) that is missing it's mate.
- Same section and paragraph, second paragraph, the quotation needs a citation.
- Same section and paragraph, avoid starting sentences with "However" (I get dinged for this ALL the time). You can use however, just work it into the sentence. However gives the feeling of lazy connections, and quickly can be overused.
- Same section, last sentence is particuarly short and easily could be merged with the previous paragraph. Also it needs a citation.
- Standing for Parliament and Television sections are way too short.
- Writings section, also short and the paragraphs are short also. Consider merging into each other. Also the last paragraph needs a citation, along with the fact that no charges were filed.
- In retrospect, I might reorganize the article. Put the Standing for Parliament, Television, and Writings sections as subsections under the Stunts section. Leave The clubs as a stand alone, and combine His death and After his death together in a "Death and legacy" or something similar section
- His death section, first paragraph. First sentence, the last phrase is oddly worded "he had been last been seen late-night" has one too many been's in it.
- After his death section, first paragraph needs a source citation.
- Pictures are great, the fair use rationales look good to me.
Overall a pretty nice article. My main suggestions are to help make the article seem less choppy. And to resolve the consistency issues with punctuation. The couple of citation requests shouldn't be an issue. I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth | Talk 16:25, 22 January 2008 (UTC)
- Looks good to me. If you missed anything, I can't see it. Pasing it now! Ealdgyth | Talk 05:14, 29 January 2008 (UTC)
File:Malcolm Hardee autobiography.jpg Nominated for speedy Deletion
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