Talk:Adjustable gastric band
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Editorialization in article
This article needs to be reviewed thoroughly. There are several instances of adding emotion to the description of the discoveries and procedures. The article becomes less of valid information and more of an advertisement or opinion. —Preceding unsigned comment added by 208.139.7.64 (talk) 23:41, 5 January 2010 (UTC)
Proposed Article Restructuring
The Adjustable Gastric Band article in its current state is poorly structured and convoluted. For example, procedures are interspersed throughout the article, with SSL appearing as its own section and Types of Adjustable Gastric Bands appearing within the History section. An article restructure would create a clean, organized presentation of information to the benefit of the reader, while enabling us to identify bias more clearly through content juxtaposition. Additionally, a cleaner structure will enable us to more readily identify and fill information gaps with authoritatively sourced content.
The following is my proposed article structure:
- 1 Theory of gastric banding
- 1.1 Types of adjustable bands
- 1.2 Single Site Laparoscopy (SSL)
- 2 Surgical Indications
- 2.1 Pregnancy
- 3 Comparison with other bariatric/weight loss surgery techniques
- 3.1 Benefits of gastric banding compared to other bariatric surgeries
- 3.2 Potential complications
- 3.3 Documented adverse effects
- 3.3.1 Band- and port-specific
- 3.3.2 Digestive
- 3.3.3 Body as a whole
- 3.3.4 Miscellaneous
- 4 Losing weight after surgery
- 4.1 Effectiveness
- 5 History and development
- 5.1 Non-adjustable bands
- 5.2 Adjustable bands
- 5.3 Swedish Adjustable Gastric Band
- 5.4 The laparoscopic era
- 6 Laparoscopic banding in Australia
- 7 Celebrities
- 8 References
- 9 External links
Gundersen53 (talk) 20:53, 30 June 2010 (UTC)
Written too much like an advertisement
Reads like it's trying to convince people to have the surgery —Preceding unsigned comment added by LlamaFragments (talk • contribs) 01:54, 23 August 2010 (UTC)
Proposed Removal: Laparoscopic banding in Australia and Celebrities Sections
The Laparoscopic banding in Australia and Celebrities Sections are irrelevant to the general discussion of Adjustable Gastric Banding and should be removed. There is no reason to call out Australia-specific statistics, especially when no other country is referenced in such a manner. Additionally, the Australia content consists of one sentence that adds little to the overall article: "According to an August 2006 article in The Medical Journal of Australia, over 90% of weight loss surgeries in Australia are installations of the laparoscopic adjustable gastric band."
With regard to the Celebrities section, no other procedure of this nature has a Celebrity section. Gastric Bypass, Sleeve Gastrectomy, Vertical banded gastroplasty surgery and Gastroenterostomy all lack a Celebrity section. As such this section should be removed from the Adjustable Gastric Band article as it adds little value to the discussion of a surgical procedure.
Gundersen53 (talk) 16:18, 21 October 2010 (UTC)
External links modified
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External links modified
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