View source for Courtship

{{Short description|Period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage}}
{{Redirect|Courting|the band|Courting (band)|other uses|Courtship (disambiguation)}}
[[File:Leighton-God Speed!.jpg|thumb|''[[God Speed (painting)|God Speed]]'' by English artist [[Edmund Leighton]], 1900: depicting an armored [[knight]] departing for war and leaving behind his wife or sweetheart]]{{No original research|date=May 2025|reason=Article is full of references to peripheral research and newspaper links to justify extraordinary claims about all of human history. It needs a top-down rewrite.}}
'''Courtship''' is the period wherein some [[Couple (relationship)|couples]] get to know each other prior to a possible marriage or committed romantic, ''de facto'' relationship. Courtship traditionally may begin after a [[betrothal]] and may conclude with the celebration of [[marriage]].<ref name="Weller1948">{{cite book|author=Pilip T. Weller|title=Rite of Betrothal|publisher=[[Society of Saint Pius X]]|date=1948|page=2}}</ref> A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal [[arranged marriage|arrangement with family approval]]. Traditionally, in the case of a formal [[Cisnormativity|cisnormative]] [[Heterosexuality|heterosexual]] engagement, it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a [[marriage proposal]].

Courtship as a social practice is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging only within the last few centuries.{{citation needed|date=September 2024}} From the standpoint of [[anthropology]] and [[sociology]], courtship is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the [[family]] which have changed rapidly, having been subject to the effects of advances in technology and medicine. 

In non-human animals, ''courtship'' refers to [[Animal sexual behaviour|sexual behavior]] that precedes [[Copulation (zoology)|copulation]].<ref>{{Cite book |last1=Hayssen |first1=Virginia |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=vwE2DwAAQBAJ&dq=mammal+contractions+copulation&pg=PA112 |title=Reproduction in Mammals: The Female Perspective |last2=Orr |first2=Teri J. |date=2017-10-27 |publisher=JHU Press |isbn=978-1-4214-2316-6 |language=en}}</ref> 
{{Close Relationships|activities}}
{{Love sidebar|types}}

== History ==
In the past, marriages in most societies were [[Arranged marriage|arranged by parents]] and older relatives with the goal not being [[love]] but legacy and "economic stability and political alliances", according to [[anthropology|anthropologists]].<ref name="twsDecM11">{{cite journal
 |author1=Kris Paap |author2=Douglas Raybeck |title= A Differently Gendered Landscape: Gender and Agency in the Web-based Personals
 |journal= Electronic Journal of Sociology
 |quote= most marriages in the world are arranged...
 |year= 2005
 |citeseerx=10.1.1.107.993
}}</ref> Accordingly, there was little need for a temporary trial period such as courtship before a permanent community-recognized union was formed between a man and a woman. While pair-bonds of varying forms were recognized by most societies as acceptable social arrangements, marriage was reserved for heterosexual pairings and had a transactional nature, where wives were in many cases a form of property being exchanged between father and husband, and who would have to serve the function of reproduction. Communities exerted pressure on people to form pair-bonds in places such as [[Europe]]; in [[China]], society "demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship"<ref name="twsDecI22bb">{{cite news
 |title= Parents explore dating scene for choosy children
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= ... in earlier times society demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship.
 |date= 2005-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-04-29
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20100429155251/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> and many societies found that some formally recognized bond between a man and a woman was the best way of rearing and educating [[child]]ren as well as helping to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings regarding competition for mates.

[[File:DickseeRomeoandJuliet.jpg|thumb|right|upright|The clandestine meeting between Romeo and Juliet in [[Romeo and Juliet|Shakespeare's play]]. Painting by [[Frank Dicksee|Sir Frank Dicksee]], 1884]]
Generally, during much of recorded history of humans in civilization, and into the [[Middle Ages]] in [[Europe]], marriages were seen as [[business]] arrangements between families, while romance was something that happened outside of marriage discreetly, such as covert meetings.<ref name=twsDecH34a /> The 12th-century book ''[[De amore (Andreas Capellanus)|The Art of Courtly Love]]'' advised that "True love can have no place between husband and wife".<ref name=twsDecH34a>{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= ..."True love can have no place between husband and wife," ...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> According to one view, clandestine meetings between men and women, generally outside of marriage or before marriage, were the precursors to today's courtship.<ref name=twsDecH34a />

From about 1700 a worldwide{{Citation needed|date=March 2023|reason=Worldwide? Or only in Europe?}} movement perhaps described as the "empowerment of the individual"{{Citation needed|date=March 2023}} took hold, leading towards greater emancipation of women and equality of individuals. Men and women became more equal politically, financially, and socially in many nations. In the early 20th centuries, women gradually won the [[Women's suffrage|right to vote]] starting in the first [[sovereign nation]] [[Norway]] in 1913, and to own property and receive [[Equality before the law|equal treatment by the law]], and these changes had profound impacts on the relationships between men and women and parental influence declined. In many societies, individuals could decide—on their own—whether they should marry, whom they should marry, and when they should marry in a "courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, under the watchful eye of a [[Chaperone (social)|chaperone]]",<ref>{{cite news
 |author= Brenda Wilson
 |title= Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships
 |work= National Public Radio
 |quote= Dating itself ... evolved out of a courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, ...
 |date= June 8, 2009
 |url= https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2010-11-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101125191419/http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> but increasingly, in many Western countries, it became a self-initiated activity with two young people going out as a couple in public together. Still, courtship varies considerably by nation, custom, religious upbringing, technology, and social class, and important exceptions with regards to individual freedoms remain as many countries today still practice arranged marriages, request dowries, and forbid same-sex pairings. Although in many countries, movies, meals, and meeting in coffeehouses and other places is now popular, as are advice books suggesting various strategies for men and women,<ref name="twsDecH26c">{{cite news
 |author= Maureen Dowd quoting poet Dorothy Parker
 |title= What's a Modern Girl to Do?
 |newspaper= The New York Times
 |quote= ...What our grandmothers told us about playing hard to get is true. ...
 |year= 2005
 |url= https://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2011-04-10
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110410033738/http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> in other parts of the world, such as in South Asia and many parts of the Middle East, being alone in public as a couple is not only frowned upon but can even lead to either person being socially ostracized.

The 1849 book ''The Whole Art of Polite Courtship; Or the Ladies & Gentlemen's Love Letter Writer'' exemplifies the importance of [[love letter]]s in 19th century courtship with a goal of marriage.<ref>{{Cite book |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qrRFy1o5wKYC |title=The Whole Art of Polite Courtship; Or the Ladies & Gentlemen's Love Letter Writer: Being a Complete Collection of Information and Advice on the Subject of Love, with New Hints to be Observed for the Choice of a Husband |date=1849 |publisher=Webb. Millington & Company |language=en |access-date=2023-03-15 |archive-date=2023-03-19 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230319151007/https://books.google.com/books?id=qrRFy1o5wKYC |url-status=live }}</ref> The book contains 31 love letter samples for men and women in different careers, presumably for readers to draw inspiration when writing their own romantic correspondences. [[Etiquette]] books, such as the 1852 ''Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony,'' detail socially appropriate ways to meet lovers, court, arrange a wedding, honeymoon, and avoid arguments.<ref>{{Cite book |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=P8hYAAAAcAAJ |title=The Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony: with a Complete Guide to the Forms of a Wedding |date=1852 |publisher=George Routledge and Son |language=en |access-date=2023-03-15 |archive-date=2023-03-19 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230319151014/https://books.google.com/books?id=P8hYAAAAcAAJ |url-status=live }}</ref>

In the twentieth century, courtship was sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage but it could also be considered as an end-in-itself, that is, an informal social activity akin to [[friendship]]. It generally happened in that portion of a person's life before the age of marriage,<ref name="twsDecH34b">{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= 24 was the average age for a person to get married in 1851....
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> but as marriage became less permanent with the advent of [[divorce]], courtship could happen at other times in peoples lives as well. People became more mobile.<ref name="twsDecH24bb">{{cite news
 |author= Neil Offen
 |title= Sociologists: Internet dating on the rise
 |newspaper= The Herald-Sun
 |quote= ..."But people are moving more now, they're not getting married at 22 and they are removed from their traditional social networks for mate selection..."
 |date= February 13, 2010
 |url= http://www.allbusiness.com/humanities-social-science/sociology/13922241-1.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2011-09-24
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110924023213/http://www.allbusiness.com/humanities-social-science/sociology/13922241-1.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Rapidly developing [[technology]] played a huge role: new [[communication technology]] such as the [[telephone]],<ref name="twsDecIv24">{{cite news
 |author= Chester F. Jacobson
 |title= A long-ago first date: More than 60 years later, would that special girl remember me?
 |newspaper= Boston Globe
 |quote= After the movie, Finney and I took Helen home to her mother, ....
 |date= February 7, 2010
 |url= http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/02/07/a_long_ago_first_date/
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-12-23
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101223215521/http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/02/07/a_long_ago_first_date/
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> [[Internet]]<ref name="twsDecH21b">{{cite news
 |author= Sharon Jayson
 |title= Internet changing the game of love
 |newspaper= USA Today
 |quote= "The rise of the Internet as a way of meeting people makes a bit of an end run around family," ...
 |date= 2010-02-10
 |url= https://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2012-06-28
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120628203421/http://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> and [[text messaging]]<ref name="twsDecNfaas" /> enabled rendezvous to be arranged without face-to-face contact. [[effects of the automobile on societies|Cars]] extended the range of courtship as well as enabled back-seat sexual exploration.

In the mid-twentieth century, the advent of [[birth control]] as well as safer procedures for [[abortion]] changed the equation considerably, and there was less pressure to marry as a means for satisfying sexual urges. New types of relationships formed; it was possible for people to live together without marrying and without [[children]]. Information about [[human sexuality]] grew, and with it an acceptance of all types of consensual sexual orientations is becoming more common. Today, the institution of courtship continues to evolve at a rapid rate with new possibilities and choices opening up particularly through [[online dating|online courtship]].{{Citation needed|date=August 2022}}

Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. [[Neurobiology|Neurobiologist]] [[Robert Sapolsky]] constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being [[Display (zoology)|tournament species]], in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and [[pair bond]] arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.<ref name="twsDecM11fss">{{cite news |author=Robert Sapolsky |year=2005 |title=Biology and Human Behavior: The Neurological Origins of Individuality, 2nd edition |publisher=The Teaching Company |url=https://www.amazon.co.uk/Biology-Human-Behavior-Neurological-Individuality/dp/B00DTUY66C |access-date=2010-12-07 |quote=(lectures on CD-audio) |archive-date=2013-08-24 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130824092905/http://www.amazon.co.uk/Biology-Human-Behavior-Neurological-Individuality/dp/B00DTUY66C |url-status=live }}</ref> According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners.<ref name="twsDecM11fss" /> These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of [[human reproduction]], including courtship. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, traditionally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transgender couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.

== Duration ==
[[File:Eastman Johnson - Southern Courtship - Google Art Project.jpg|thumb|right|200px|"Southern Courtship" by American painter [[Eastman Johnson]] (1824–1906)]]
The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world.  Furthermore, there is vast individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely omitted, as in cases of some [[arranged marriage]]s where the couple do not meet before the wedding.

In the [[United Kingdom]], a poll of 3,000<ref name=mc>"[http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/world/181134/average-man-proposes-after-three-years.html  Average man proposes after three years] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200825094704/http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/world/181134/average-man-proposes-after-three-years.html |date=2020-08-25 }}", ''Marie Claire'', 18 February 2008.</ref> engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted [[proposal of marriage]] of 2&nbsp;years and 11&nbsp;months,<ref name=mc/><ref name=metro>"[http://www.metro.co.uk/metrosexual/article.html?in_article_id=99603&in_page_id=8 Average man takes 3 years to propose] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080504085853/http://www.metro.co.uk/metrosexual/article.html?in_article_id=99603&in_page_id=8 |date=2008-05-04 }}", ''Metrosexual'', Sunday, 17 February 2008.</ref> with the women feeling ready to accept at an average of 2&nbsp;years and 7&nbsp;months.<ref name=mc/> Regarding duration between proposal and wedding, the UK poll above gave an average of 2&nbsp;years and 3&nbsp;months.<ref name=metro/>

== Traditions ==
Fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity with very specific formal rules.

In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners and then allow limited courtship to determine whether the parties are suited. In [[Japan]], there is such a type of courtship called [[Miai|Omiai]], with similar practices called "Xiangqin" ({{lang|zh|相親}}) in the [[Greater China Area]].<ref name="Thelmaw-2015">{{Cite web |last=Thelmaw |first=Ritgerõ |date=September 2015 |title=Courtship in Japan and Iceland |url=http://skemman.is/stream/get/1946/22794/52148/1/Ritger%C3%B0_Thelmaw.pdf |access-date=15 May 2016 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160605134159/http://skemman.is/stream/get/1946/22794/52148/1/Ritger%C3%B0_Thelmaw.pdf |archive-date=5 June 2016 |url-status=dead}}</ref> Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and [[résumé]]s of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance.<ref name="Thelmaw-2015" /> The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry after a few meetings.

[[Courtship in the Philippines]] is one complex form of courtship. Unlike other societies, it takes a far more subdued and indirect approach.<ref name="phrasebase.com">{{Cite web |url=http://www.phrasebase.com/archive/tagalog/82-courtship-in-philippine-culture.html |title=COURTSHIP IN PHILIPPINE CULTURE |website=www.phrasebase.com |access-date=13 May 2016 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200219214017/http://www.phrasebase.com/archive/tagalog/82-courtship-in-philippine-culture.html |archive-date=19 February 2020}}</ref> Its complexity involves stages, and it is considered normal for courtship to last a year or longer. It is common to see a man showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs, and buying gifts for a woman. The parents are also seen as part of the courtship practice, as their approval is commonly needed before courtship may begin or before the woman gives the man an answer to his advances.<ref name="phrasebase.com" />

In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated by the practice of arranged marriages<ref name="Thelmaw-2015" /> in which partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which, in such cultures, may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.<ref>{{Cite web|title=Reading: Marriage and Courtship Patterns {{!}} Sociology|url=https://courses.lumenlearning.com/alamo-sociology/chapter/reading-marriage-and-courtship-patterns/|access-date=28 December 2021|website=courses.lumenlearning.com|archive-date=28 December 2021|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20211228164542/https://courses.lumenlearning.com/alamo-sociology/chapter/reading-marriage-and-courtship-patterns/|url-status=live}}</ref>

Throughout history, courtship has often included traditions such as exchanging [[valentines]], written correspondence (facilitated by the creation of the postal service in the nineteenth century), and similar communication-based courting.<ref>{{citation | last = Maurer | first = Elizabeth | title = The History of Romance | publisher = National Women's History Museum | year = 2017 | url = https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/history-romance | access-date = 2018-01-29 | archive-date = 2018-01-30 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20180130014612/https://www.womenshistory.org/articles/history-romance | url-status = live }}.</ref> Over recent decades, though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or simply been mixed with other forms of courtship, including Eastern and Indian ones. Potential couples have the opportunity to meet and socialise with each other before deciding whether  to continue the relationship.

==Courtship in social theory==
Courtship is used by a number of theorists to explain gendering processes and sexual identity. Scientific research into courtship began in the 1980s, after which time academic researchers started to generate theories about modern courtship practices and norms. Researchers have found that, contrary to popular beliefs, courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women,<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Cohen | first1 = L. L. | last2 = Shotland | first2 = R. L. | year = 1996 | title = Timing of first sexual intercourse in a relationship: Expectations, experiences, and perceptions of others | journal = Journal of Sex Research | volume = 33 | issue = 4 | pages = 291–299 | doi = 10.1080/00224499609551846}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Simpson | first1 = J. A. | last2 = Gangestad | first2 = S. W. | year = 1992 | title = Sociosexuality and Romantic Partner Choice | journal = Journal of Personality | volume = 60 | pages = 31–51 | doi = 10.1111/j.1467-6494.1992.tb00264.x}}</ref><ref>Perper, T. (1985) ''Sex Signals: The Biology Of Love'', Philadelphia, ISI Press.</ref><ref>{{cite journal |last1=Moore |first1=Monica |year=1985 |title=Nonverbal courtship patterns in women: context and consequences |url=https://www.researchgate.net/publication/246974326 |journal=Ethology and Sociobiology |volume=6 |issue=4 |pages=237–247 |doi=10.1016/0162-3095(85)90016-0}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Peplau | first1 = L. A. | last2 = Rubin | first2 = Z. | last3 = Hill | first3 = C. T. | year = 1977 | title = Sexual Intimacy in Dating Relationships | journal = Journal of Social Issues | volume = 33 | issue = 2 | pages = 86–109 | doi= 10.1111/j.1540-4560.1977.tb02007.x}}</ref> driven mainly by non-verbal behaviours, to which men respond. One of the functions of romantic love is courtship.<ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Bode|first1=Adam|last2=Kushnick|first2=Geoff|date=2021|title=Proximate and Ultimate Perspectives on Romantic Love|journal=Frontiers in Psychology|language=English|volume=12|page=573123|doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2021.573123|pmid=33912094|issn=1664-1078|pmc=8074860|doi-access=free}}</ref>

This is generally supported by other theorists who specialise in the study of body language.<ref>Pease, A. and Pease, B. (2004) ''The Definitive Book Of Body Language'', London: Orion Books.</ref> There are some feminist scholars, however, who regard courtship as a socially constructed (and male-led) process organised to subjugate women.<ref>Hearn, J. & Parkin, W. (1987) ''Sex at work: The power and paradox of organisation sexuality'', Brighton: Wheatsheaf.</ref><ref>Connell, R. W. (1995) ''Gender and Power'', Cambridge: Polity Press.</ref> Farrell reports, for example, that magazines about marriage and romantic fiction continue to attract a 98% female readership.<ref>Farrell, W. (2000) ''Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say'', New York: Tarcher/Putnam.</ref> Systematic research into courtship processes inside the workplace<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Williams | first1 = C. L. | last2 = Guiffre | first2 = P. A. | last3 = Dellinger | first3 = K. | s2cid = 145150846 | year = 1999 | title = Sexuality in the Workplace: Organizational Control, Sexual Harassment and the Pursuit of Pleasure | journal = Annual Review of Sociology | volume = 25 | pages = 73–93 | doi=10.1146/annurev.soc.25.1.73}}</ref> as well as two ten-year studies examining norms in different international settings<ref>Molloy, J. (2003) ''Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others'', London: Element.</ref><ref>Buss, D. M., Abbott, M., Angleitner, A., Biaggio, A., Blanco-Villasenor, A., BruchonSchweittzer, M. [& 45 additional authors] (1990).  "[https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/67686/10.1177_0022022190211001.pdf?sequence=2 International preferences in selecting mates: A study of 37 societies] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170820025540/https://deepblue.lib.umich.edu/bitstream/handle/2027.42/67686/10.1177_0022022190211001.pdf?sequence=2 |date=2017-08-20 }}". ''Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology'', 21: 5–47.</ref> continue to support a view that courtship is a social process that socialises ''both'' sexes into accepting forms of relationship that maximise the chances of successfully raising children.

===Commercial courtship services===
As technology has progressed, so too have the methods of courtship. In [[online dating|online courtship]], individuals create profiles where they disclose personal information, photographs, hobbies, interests, religion and expectations. Then the user can search through hundreds of thousands of accounts and connect with multiple people at once which in return, gives the user more options and more opportunity to find what meets their standards. Online courtship has influenced the idea of [[choice]]. In ''[[Modern Romance: An Investigation]]'', [[Aziz Ansari]] states that one third of marriages in the United States between 2005 and 2012 met through online courtship services.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Ansari |first1=Aziz |title=Modern Romance |date=2015 |publisher=Penguin Press |location=New York, New York |isbn=978-1-59420-627-6 |pages=79}}</ref>

Today there are hundreds of sites to choose from and websites designed to fit specific needs such as [[Match.com|Match]], [[eHarmony]], [[OkCupid]], [[Zoosk]], and [[ChristianMingle]]. Mobile apps, such as [[Grindr]] and [[Tinder (app)|Tinder]] allow users to upload profiles that are then judged by others on the service; one can either swipe right on a profile (indicating interest) or swipe left (which presents another possible mate).{{citation needed|date=February 2024}}

=== Technology ===
[[File:Most popular social networking sites by country.svg|thumb|Map showing the most popular social media applications, by country; Facebook is dominant in 2019.]]
The Internet is shaping the way new generations meet; [[Facebook]], [[Skype]], [[WhatsApp]], and other applications have made remote connections possible.

Online courtship tools are an alternate way to meet potential mates.<ref>Lgbt Identity and Online New Media&nbsp;– Page 235, Christopher Pullen, Margaret Cooper – 2010</ref><ref>Gaydar Culture: Gay Men, Technology and Embodiment in the Digital Age&nbsp;– Page 186, Sharif Mowlabocus – 2010</ref> Many people use [[smartphone]] apps such as [[Tinder (app)|Tinder]], [[Grindr]], or [[Bumble (app)|Bumble]] which allow a user to accept or reject another user with a single swipe of a finger.<ref name=twsCQNews>CQ Press, CQ Researcher, Barbara Mantel, [http://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2015032000 Online dating: Can apps and algorithms lead to true love?] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160825220732/http://library.cqpress.com/cqresearcher/document.php?id=cqresrre2015032000 |date=2016-08-25 }}, Retrieved June 12, 2016, "...Yet some researchers say matchmaking algorithms are no better than chance for providing suitable partners.{{citation needed|date=March 2023}} At the same time, critics worry that the abundance of prospective dates available online is undermining relationships..."</ref> Some critics have suggested that matchmaking algorithms are imperfect and are "no better than chance" for the task of identifying acceptable partners.<ref name=twsCQNews /> Others have suggested that the speed and availability of emerging technologies may be undermining the possibility for couples to have long-term meaningful relationships when finding a replacement partner has potentially become too easy.<ref name=twsCQNews />

== Worldwide ==
[[File:Couple 01.JPG|A Japanese couple [[holding hands]] on the beach|thumb|right]]
Courtship customs and habits vary considerably throughout the world. The average duration of courtship before proceeding to [[engagement]] or [[marriage]] varies considerably throughout the world.<ref name=twsDecI34bb />

=== Africa ===

==== Ethiopia ====
According to one source, there are four ways that marriage can happen among the [[Nyangatom people]]: (1) arranged marriage, when well-respected elders are sent to the girl's family on behalf of the boy's family; (2) courtship after a friendly meeting between boy and girl such as at a market place or holiday where there's dancing; (3) abduction, such as during a blood feud between families; (4) inheritance.<ref>{{cite book |title=Baptized In Game – The Rebirth Of The New Millennium Man (tips for Urban Dating, Women, Relationships and sexual improvement) |publisher=Forbidden Fruit Books LLC |page=150 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=Jc24YsVsG_cC&q=There+are+four+types+of+marriage+among+the+Nyangatom+marriage+by+arrangement,+by+the+couple%27s+mutual+consent+by+abduction+and+by+inheritance&pg=PA150 |language=en}}</ref>{{Better source needed|reason=The current source is insufficiently reliable ([[WP:NOTRS]]).|date=March 2024}}

==== North Africa ====
In [[North Africa]] like in many parts of the Middle East, sex without marriage is considered unacceptable. Courtship in [[North Africa]] is predominantly done under family supervision, usually in a public place.{{Citation needed|date=January 2015}}

=== Asia ===
Asia is a mix of traditional approaches with involvement by parents and extended families such as arranged marriages as well as modern courtship. In many cultural traditions, including some in [[South Asia]],<ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20090204010909/http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/india/1499679/Divorce-soars-in-India%27s-middle-class.html Divorce soars in India's middle class], Telegraph, October 1, 2005</ref> and the [[Middle East]]<ref>[http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/1226/p09s01-coop.html Why cousin marriage matters in Iraq] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20111117014001/http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/1226/p09s01-coop.html |date=2011-11-17 }}, csmonitor.com, December 26, 2006</ref> and to some extent [[East Asia]], as in the case of [[Miai|Omiai]] in [[Japan]] and the similar "Xiangqin" (相親) practiced in the [[Greater China Area]], a date may be arranged by a third party, who may be a family member, acquaintance, or professional matchmaker.

==== China ====
{{See also|Shanghai marriage market}}
Patterns of courtship are changing in China, with increased modernization bumping into traditional ways.

A 2003 report in ''China Daily'' suggested that courtship for most Chinese university women was "difficult", required work, stole time away from academic advancement, and placed women in a precarious position of having to balance personal success against traditional Chinese relationships.<ref name=twsDecI12>{{cite news
 |title= Dating: a tricky game for Chinese university women
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= Most Chinese university women can agree on one thing: Dating is difficult. ...
 |date= 2003-08-27
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-08/27/content_258799.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2011-08-05
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110805160019/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/2003-08/27/content_258799.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Many women were reported to have high standards for men they sought, but also worried that their academic credentials could "scare away more traditional Chinese men".<ref name=twsDecI12 /> It was reportedly difficult finding places to have privacy, since many dormitory rooms had eight or more pupils in one suite, while courtship in restaurants tended to be expensive.<ref name=twsDecI12 /> One student remarked: "American couples drink and dance together. But in China, we study together."<ref name=twsDecI12 />

[[Romantic love]] is more difficult during times of financial stress, and economic forces can encourage singles, particularly women, to select a partner primarily on financial considerations. Some men postpone marriage until their financial position is more secure and use wealth to help attract women. One trend is towards exclusive matchmaking events for the 'rich and powerful'; for example, an annual June event in [[Wuhan, China|Wuhan]] with expensive entry-ticket prices for men (99,999 RMB) lets financially secure men choose so-called ''bikini brides'' based on their [[beauty]] and [[education]], and the financial exclusivity of the event was criticized by the official news outlet ''[[China Daily]]''.<ref>[http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/2011-06/29/content_12798535.htm The matchmaking sham] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140407095426/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/opinion/2011-06/29/content_12798535.htm |date=2014-04-07 }}, China Daily, June 29, 2011</ref> Surveys though from 2015 to 2018 suggest that the majority of Chinese respondents (especially college students) would place the character and personality of their partners above material assets,<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.womenofchina.cn/html/survey/15033310-1.htm|title=Guangzhou Releases Report on Female College Students' Views – All China Women's Federation|website=www.womenofchina.cn|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-29|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191229172824/http://www.womenofchina.cn/html/survey/15033310-1.htm|url-status=dead}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2015-11/21/content_22506567.htm|title=Chinese couples still favor marriage at 26[1]- Chinadaily.com.cn|website=www.chinadaily.com.cn|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2020-01-01|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200101201634/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2015-11/21/content_22506567.htm|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=https://wj.qq.com/article/single-66.html|title=腾讯问卷|website=wj.qq.com|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-22|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191222133207/https://wj.qq.com/article/single-66.html|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.chinanews.com/sh/2018/12-10/8697650.shtml|title=大学生恋爱观调查：超7成认为恋爱使学习和生活更有动力-中新网|website=www.chinanews.com|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-27|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191227014823/http://www.chinanews.com/sh/2018/12-10/8697650.shtml|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.sohu.com/a/234053046_166729|title=青媒调研 {{!}} 大学生恋爱观调查报告|website=www.sohu.com|language=en|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-29|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191229005853/http://www.sohu.com/a/234053046_166729|url-status=live}}</ref> with also increasing acceptance towards evenly splitting bills or [[going Dutch]].<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.sohu.com/a/209433616_671297|title=中国大学生恋爱调查报告：大学生恋爱消费，日趋流行AA制|website=www.sohu.com|language=en|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-28|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191228114512/http://www.sohu.com/a/209433616_671297|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.sixthtone.com/news/1000420/modern-romance-who-foots-the-bill-in-china|title=Modern Romance: Who Foots the Bill in China?|last=Tone|first=Sixth|date=2017-06-29|website=Sixth Tone|language=en|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-31|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191231121140/http://www.sixthtone.com/news/1000420/modern-romance-who-foots-the-bill-in-china|url-status=live}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|url=http://inews.ifeng.com/50915257/news.shtml?&back|title=珍爱网调查：6成女性不介意约会"AA男"_手机凤凰网|website=inews.ifeng.com|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-29|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191229024810/http://inews.ifeng.com/50915257/news.shtml?&back|url-status=live}}</ref>

There have been conflicting reports on expatriate courtship in China's capital city. One account in 2006 suggested the courtship scene in [[Beijing]] to be "sad" with particular difficulties for foreign women hoping to find romance.<ref name="twsDecI15" /> It was reportedly due to the cold, uninterested, or unappealing attitudes of the male expats and the shyness and cultural differences of the Chinese men,<ref name="twsDecI15">{{cite news
 |author= Erik Nilsson
 |title= Foreign women label Beijing a dating wasteland
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= As China's expatriate population grows, many foreign women looking for love are saying this is the wrong place to meet Mr Right. ...
 |date= 2006-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-11/11/content_730390.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2011-08-15
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110815084645/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-11/11/content_730390.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> and another account in 2010 documented similar, if slightly improved results.<ref name="twsDecI32">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-04/09/content_9707047.htm|title=Invisible Western women|author=Qi Zhai|date=2010-04-09|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote="I feel invisible in Beijing. The other day I walked by a table of Western men at a café and nothing happened. ...|archive-date=2010-04-15|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20100415004012/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-04/09/content_9707047.htm|url-status=live}}</ref> A different report in 2010, though, suggested that some Chinese men preferred Western women, viewing them as less girlish and materialistic, and also more independent and straightforward than Chinese women.<ref name="twsDecI31">{{cite news
 |author= Tiffany Tan
 |title= Chinese men looking West
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |date= 2010-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-11/11/content_11532938.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-12-01
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101201034946/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-11/11/content_11532938.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> A 2016 survey of Chinese students abroad, however, imply there have been significant barriers to foreign courtship,<ref>{{cite web|url=http://usa.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2016-03/28/content_24137079.htm|title=More female students who study abroad are returning to China{{!}}Society{{!}}chinadaily.com.cn|website=usa.chinadaily.com.cn|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2020-11-08|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20201108160827/http://usa.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2016-03/28/content_24137079.htm|url-status=live}}</ref> and the intermarriage rate of Chinese women in Shanghai has been decreasing.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.shine.cn/feature/lifestyle/1807027797/|title=Fast statistics: expats in Shanghai|website=SHINE|language=en|access-date=2019-12-02|archive-date=2019-12-09|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20191209045932/https://www.shine.cn/feature/lifestyle/1807027797/|url-status=live}}</ref>

A new format of Internet "QQ" chat rooms is gaining ground against so-called "traditional courtship agencies" in Changsha (Hunan Province); the QQ rooms have 20,000 members, and service is much less expensive than courtship agencies which can charge 100 to 200 yuan ($13 to US$26) per introduction.<ref name=twsDecI18>{{cite news |title= QQ chat rooms gain on dating agencies |newspaper= China Daily |quote= The Internet QQ chat room is challenging traditional dating agencies ... more than 20,000 members. ... The QQ user groups charge little for service in comparison with traditional dating agencies, that usually collect 100 (US$13) to 200 yuan (US$26) per introduction. |date= 2007-08-15 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-08/15/content_6028189.htm |access-date= 2010-12-09 |archive-date= 2010-11-18 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101118191735/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-08/15/content_6028189.htm |url-status= live }}</ref> Internet courtship, with computer-assisted matchmaking, is becoming more prevalent; one site supposedly has 23 million registered users.<ref name="twsDecI16">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-03/10/content_9566320.htm|title=The cold hard facts about Internet dating|author=Debbie Mason|date=2010-03-10|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote=... It boasts 23 million registered users...|archive-date=2010-11-30|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20101130064944/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-03/10/content_9566320.htm|url-status=live}}</ref> [[Speed dating]] has come to Shanghai and other cities.<ref name="twsDecI24">{{cite news |author=Jin Haili |date=2004-09-16 |title=The fast way to fall in love |newspaper=China Daily |url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-09/16/content_375019.htm |access-date=2010-12-09 |archive-date=2010-04-20 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20100420204354/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-09/16/content_375019.htm |url-status=live }}</ref><ref name="twsDecI34hh">{{cite news|url=http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm|title=Courtship|date=2009-10-16|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|url-status=dead|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110723130129/http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm|archive-date=2011-07-23}}</ref> Worldwide online matchmakers have explored entering the Chinese market via partnerships or acquisitions.<ref name="twsDecI27">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-02/15/content_809971.htm|title=US online love brokers eye China|agency=Reuters|date=2007-02-15|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|archive-date=2008-08-21|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080821150914/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2007-02/15/content_809971.htm|url-status=live}}</ref>

Each year, November 11 has become an unofficial holiday<ref name=twsDecI23 /> known as China's Singles' Day when singles are encouraged to make an extra effort to find a partner.<ref name=twsDecI22 /> Worried parents of unmarried children often arrange dates for their offspring on this day as well as others.<ref name=twsDecI22>{{cite news
 |title= Parents explore dating scene for choosy children
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= November 11 has gradually become China's Singles' Day ...
 |date= 2005-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-04-29
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20100429155251/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Before the day approaches, thousands of college students and young workers post messages describing their plans for this day. In Arabic numerals, the day looks like "1111", that is, "like four single people standing together", and there was speculation that it originated in the late 1990s when college students celebrated being single with "a little self-mockery"<ref name=twsDecI23 /> but a differing explanation dates it back to events in the [[Roman Empire]].<ref name=twsDecI23>{{cite news
 |author= Wang Shanshan
 |title= Dating on Singles' Day
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= Every year as Singles' Day approaches, thousands of college students and young working people post messages  ...
 |date= 2006-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-11/11/content_730393.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2008-10-10
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20081010052511/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-11/11/content_730393.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> For many, Singles' Day offers people a way to "demonstrate their stance on [[love]] and [[marriage]]".<ref name=twsDecI23 /> In 2005, a government-sponsored agency called Shanghai Women's Activities Centre (Chinese: Jinguoyuan) organized periodic matchmaking events often attended by parents.<ref name="twsDecI22ee">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm|title=Parents explore dating scene for choosy children|date=2005-11-11|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote=...Shanghai Women's Activities Centre, or Jinguoyuan in Chinese, a government-sponsored agency, ...|archive-date=2010-04-29|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20100429155251/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm|url-status=live}}</ref>

There has been concern that young people's views of marriage have changed because of economic opportunities, with many choosing deliberately not to get married,<ref name=twsDecI23 /> as well as young marrieds who have decided not to have children, or to postpone having them.<ref name=twsDecI22 /> Cohabiting relationships are tolerated more often.<ref name=twsDecI22bb /> Communities where people live but do not know each other well are becoming more common in China like elsewhere, leading to fewer opportunities to meet somebody locally without assistance.<ref name=twsDecI22 /> [[Divorce]] rates are rising in cities such as [[Shanghai, China|Shanghai]], which recorded 27,376 divorces in 2004, an increase of 30% from 2003.<ref name=twsDecI22 />

[[Puppy love in China|Relationships between students]] preparing for college are frowned upon by many parents in China. There was a report that sexual relations among middle schoolers in [[Guangzhou, China|Guangzhou]] sometimes resulted in abortions.<ref name="twsDecI35">{{cite news
 |author= Zheng Caixiong
 |title= Doctor: Sex harmful to middle schoolers
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= Sex among middle school students may be contributing to growing sterility problems among young women in Guangzhou,...
 |date= 2004-04-20
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-04/20/content_324719.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-12-30
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101230044928/http://www2.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2004-04/20/content_324719.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> There have been reports of scams involving get-rich-quick schemes; a forty-year-old migrant worker was one of a thousand seduced by an advertisement which read "Rich woman willing to pay 3 million yuan for sperm donor" but the worker was cheated out of his savings of 190,000 yuan (US$27,500).<ref name="twsDecI14">{{cite news
 |author= Wang Qian
 |title= Dating agency scam defrauds a thousand luckless bachelors
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= Forty-year-old migrant worker Li Hai thought his chance to get-rich-quick had arrived when he saw the tabloid advertisement: "Rich woman willing to pay 3 million yuan for sperm donor." ...
 |date= 2008-07-15
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2008-07/15/content_6848483.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2008-08-01
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20080801131600/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2008-07/15/content_6848483.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

The game show ''[[Fei Cheng Wu Rao|If You Are the One]]'', titled after Chinese personal ads, featured some provocative contestants making sexual allusions and the show reportedly ran afoul of authorities and had to change its approach.<ref name="twsDecI17">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-07/02/content_10049150.htm|title=Playing by the rules in the game of love|author=Li Jing|date=2010-07-02|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote=... the popular dating show If You Are the One   ...|archive-date=2010-11-09|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20101109134011/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-07/02/content_10049150.htm|url-status=live}}</ref> The two-host format involves a panel of 24 single women questioning a man to decide if he will remain on the show; if he survives, he can choose a girl to date; the show gained notoriety for controversial remarks and opinions such as model Ma Nuo saying she  prefer to "[[I would rather cry in a BMW|weep in a BMW than laugh on a bike]]", who was later banned from making appearances.<ref name="twsDecI13">{{cite news|url=http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-04/24/content_9770152.htm|title=The Dating game by Jiangsu TV|author=Lin Qi|date=2010-04-24|newspaper=China Daily|access-date=2010-12-09|quote=...a jury of 24 single women question one guy,...|archive-date=2020-03-11|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200311024337/https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-04/24/content_9770152.htm|url-status=live}}</ref>

==== India ====
The custom of [[Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent|Indian arranged marriages]] requires little courtship, although there are strong indications that the institution is undergoing change, and that ''love marriages'' are becoming more accepted as India becomes more intertwined with the rest of the world. In the cities at least, it is becoming more accepted for two people to meet and try to find if there is compatibility.<ref>{{Cite web|title=India's Arranged Marriage Traditions Live on in U.S.|url=https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/uwire/uwire_APLJ050720039401343.html?ei=5034&en=be1a8b75099fc08d&ex=1130212800|access-date=2021-05-24|website=archive.nytimes.com|archive-date=2021-05-24|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210524033055/https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nytimes.com/uwire/uwire_APLJ050720039401343.html?ei=5034&en=be1a8b75099fc08d&ex=1130212800|url-status=live}}</ref>

[[File:South Indian wedding ceremony.jpg|thumb|left|An Indian wedding]]
The majority of Indian marriages are arranged by parents and relatives, and one estimate is that 7 of every 10 marriages are arranged.<ref name=twsDecIv16b>{{cite news
 |author      = AFP
 |title       = Private detectives: a pre-nuptial priority for some in India
 |work        = France 24
 |quote       = ... nine out of 10 marriages are still arranged ...
 |date        = 5 July 2010
 |url         = http://www.france24.com/en/20100705-private-detectives-pre-nuptial-priority-india
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20100802141738/http://www.france24.com/en/20100705-private-detectives-pre-nuptial-priority-india
 |archive-date = 2 August 2010
}}</ref> Sometimes the bride and groom do not meet until the wedding, and there is no courtship or wooing before the joining.<ref name=twsDecI34bb>{{cite news
 |title       = Courtship
 |newspaper   = China Daily
 |quote       = Courtship may be completely left out in case of arranged marriages where the couple doesn't meet before the wedding.
 |date        = 2009-10-16
 |url         = http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110723130129/http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |archive-date = 2011-07-23
}}</ref> In the past, it meant that couples were chosen from the same [[caste]] and [[religion]] and economic status.<ref name=twsDecH36>{{cite news
 |author      = Lavina Melwani
 |title       = The Mating Game
 |work        = Little India
 |quote       = Until recently, Indian marriages ...
 |year        = 2010
 |url         = http://www.littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20101214193331/http://littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |archive-date = 2010-12-14
}}</ref> There is widespread support for arranged marriages generally. Writer Lavina Melwani described a happy marriage which had been arranged by the bride's father, and noted that during the engagement, the woman was allowed to go out with him before they were married on only one occasion; the couple married and found happiness.<ref name=twsDecH36ii /> Supporters of arranged marriage suggest that there is a risk of having the marriage fall apart whether it was arranged by relatives or by the couple themselves, and that what's important is not how the marriage came to be but what the couple does after being married.<ref name=twsDecH36ii>{{cite news
 |author      = Lavina Melwani
 |title       = The Mating Game
 |work        = Little India
 |quote       = Patel still believes arranged marriages are a good idea: "Any marriage needs work, whether it's an arranged marriage or love. ...
 |year        = 2010
 |url         = http://www.littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20101214193331/http://littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |archive-date = 2010-12-14
}}</ref> Parents and relatives exert considerable influence, sometimes posting [[classified advertising|matrimonial ads]] in newspapers and online.<ref name=twsDecH36 /> Customs encourage families to put people together, and discourage sexual experimentation as well as so-called ''serial courtship'' in which a prospective bride or groom meets but continually rejects possible partners, since the interests of the family are seen as more important than the romantic needs of the people marrying.<ref name=twsDecI34ee>{{cite news
 |title       = Courtship
 |newspaper   = China Daily
 |quote       = ... Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests...
 |date        = 2009-10-16
 |url         = http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110723130129/http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |archive-date = 2011-07-23
}}</ref> Indian writers, such as Mistry in his book ''Family Matters'', sometimes depict arranged marriages as unhappy.<ref name=twsDecI11>{{cite news
 |author1     = Poornima Apte
 |author2     = Elizabeth Walter
 |title       = Families Matter
 |newspaper   = India Currents
 |quote       = ... He entered into an unhappy arranged marriage with a Parsi widow with two children.
 |date        = Oct 30, 2002
 |url         = http://news.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=be8cbc2d430d2428f885731cbec40600
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110713024841/http://news.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=be8cbc2d430d2428f885731cbec40600
 |archive-date = 2011-07-13
}}</ref> Writer Sarita Sarvate of ''India Currents'' thinks people calculate their "value" on the "Indian marriage market" according to measures such as family status, and that arranged marriages typically united spouses who often did not love each other.<ref name=twsDecH43 /> She suggested ''love'' was out of place in this world because it risked passion and "sordid" sexual liaisons.<ref name=twsDecH43>{{cite news
 |author       = Sarita Sarvate
 |title        = What is Love?
 |newspaper    = India Currents
 |quote        = ...Eventually, I would agree to an arranged marriage with a man I would never love. But forever I would remember that afternoon at the canal and the possibility of love.
 |date         = Mar 31, 2005
 |url          = http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=463d56fc22871046a30456394f604584
 |access-date   = 2010-12-08
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20061018045344/http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=463d56fc22871046a30456394f604584
 |archive-date = October 18, 2006
 |url-status     = dead
 |df           = mdy-all
}}</ref> Love, as she sees it, is "Waking up in the morning and thinking about someone."<ref name=twsDecH43 /> Writer Jennifer Marshall described the wife in an arranged marriage as living in a world of solitude without much happiness, and feeling pressured by relatives to conceive a son so she would not be considered as "barren" by her husband's family; in this sense, the arranged marriage did not bring "love, happiness, and companionship".<ref name=twsDecH44>{{cite news
 |author     = Jennifer Marshall
 |title      = Beauty Made from Loneliness
 |newspaper  = India Currents
 |quote      = Sonabai Rajawar’s arranged marriage to her husband, however, marked the beginning of a life lived in solitude, hidden from her large family and community for 15 years in her marital home. ...
 |date       = Feb 28, 2010
 |url        = http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=57dce1b8c64f4204a763b2315164c646
 |archive-url = https://archive.today/20130126013529/http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=57dce1b8c64f4204a763b2315164c646
 |url-status = dead
 |archive-date = January 26, 2013
 |access-date = 2010-12-08
}}</ref> Writer Vijaysree Venkatraman believes arranged marriages are unlikely to disappear soon, commenting in his book review of Shoba Narayan's ''Monsoon Diary'', which has a detailed description of the steps involved in a present-day arranged marriage.<ref name=twsDecH42>{{cite news
 |author      = Vijaysree Venkatraman
 |title       = A Literary Feast – book review of ''Monsoon Diary: A Memoir with Recipes'' by Shoba Narayan
 |newspaper   = India Currents
 |quote       = ...This custom is not about to vanish any time soon, ...
 |date        = Jul 11, 2003
 |url         = http://news.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=530738b8418c4a29773ba038fd500b1e
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20100716022751/http://news.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=530738b8418c4a29773ba038fd500b1e
 |archive-date = 2010-07-16
}}</ref> There are indications that even the institution of arranged marriages is changing, with marriages increasingly being arranged by "unknown, unfamiliar sources" and less based on local families who know each other.<ref name=twsDecIv16b /> Writer Lavina Melwani in ''Little India'' compared Indian marriages to business deals:

{{Blockquote|Until recently, Indian marriages had all the trappings of a business transaction involving two deal-making families, a hardboiled matchmaker and a vocal board of shareholders – concerned uncles and aunts. The couple was almost incidental to the deal. They just dressed and showed up for the wedding ceremony. And after that the onus was on them to adjust to the 1,001 relatives, get to know each other and make the marriage work.|Lavina Melwani|<ref name=twsDecH36 />}}

Relationships in which courtship is undertaken by two people without parental involvement and sometimes carry on clandestine get-togethers, has become increasingly common. When this leads to a wedding, the resulting unions are sometimes called ''love marriages''. There are increasing instances when couples initiate contact on their own, particularly if they live in a foreign country; in one case, a couple met surreptitiously over a game of cards.<ref name=twsDecH36 /> Indians who move abroad to Britain or America often follow the cultural patterns of their new country: for example, one Indian woman met a white American man while skiing, and married him, and the formerly "all-important relatives" were reduced to bystanders trying to influence things ineffectively.<ref name=twsDecH36 /> Factors operating worldwide, such as increased affluence, the need for longer education, and greater mobility have lessened the appeal for arranged marriages, and these trends have affected criteria about which possible partners are acceptable, making it more likely that pairings will cross previously impenetrable barriers such as caste or ethnic background.<ref name=twsDecH36 /> [[Indian Americans]] in the U.S. sometimes participate in ''Singles Meets'' organized by websites which happen about once a month, with 100 participants at each event; an organizer did not have firm statistics about the success rate leading to a long-term relationship but estimated about one in every ten members finds a partner through the site.<ref name=twsDecH36gg>{{cite news
 |author      = Lavina Melwani
 |title       = The Mating Game
 |work        = Little India
 |quote       = He ... estimates that globally 1 out of every 10 members finds a life partner through the site.
 |year        = 2010
 |url         = http://www.littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20101214193331/http://littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |archive-date = 2010-12-14
}}</ref>

Courtship websites are gaining ground in India. Writer Rupa Dev preferred websites which emphasized authenticity and screened people before entering their names into their databases, making it a safer environment overall, so that site users can have greater trust that it is safe to meet others on the site.<ref name=twsDecH41bb>{{cite news
 |author      = Rupa Dev
 |title       = Love Online
 |newspaper   = India Currents
 |quote       = Dating websites choose whether to accept or reject potential users based on the preliminary information provided. In doing so, a safer online community is supposedly created.
 |date        = Nov 3, 2008
 |url         = http://www.indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=497fe53ea5b72e891807b11c8fc98332
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20101225075011/http://indiacurrents.com/news/view_article.html?article_id=497fe53ea5b72e891807b11c8fc98332
 |archive-date = 2010-12-25
}}</ref> Dev suggested that such websites were much better than the anonymous chatrooms of the 1990s.<ref name=twsDecH41bb />

During the interval before marriage, whether it is an arranged or a love marriage, [[private detective]]s have been hired to check up on a prospective bride or groom, or to verify claims about a potential spouse made in newspaper advertising, and there are reports that such [[espionnage|snooping]] is increasing.<ref name=twsDecIv16b /> Detectives investigate former amorous relationships and can include fellow college students, former police officers skilled in investigations, and medical workers "with access to health records".<ref name=twsDecIv16b />

Transsexuals and eunuchs have begun using Internet services in some states in India.<ref name=twsDecIv13 />

The practice of courtship runs against some religious traditions, and one particular Hindu group [[Sri Ram Sena]] threatened to "force unwed couples" to marry, if they were discovered courtship on [[Valentine's Day]]; a fundamentalist leader said "drinking and dancing in bars and celebrating this day has nothing to do with Hindu traditions."<ref name=twsDecIv22 /> The threat sparked a protest via the Internet which resulted in cartloads of pink panties being sent to the fundamentalist leader's office.<ref name=twsDecIv22>{{cite news |author= Nandita VIJ |title= Women plan pink panty response to 'Hindu Taliban' |work= France 24 |date= 2009-07-23 |url= http://www.france24.com/en/20090211-india-valentines-day-chaddi-campaign-sri-ram-sena-hindu-fundamentalists |access-date= 2010-12-09 |url-status= dead |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20090303221830/http://www.france24.com/en/20090211-india-valentines-day-chaddi-campaign-sri-ram-sena-hindu-fundamentalists |archive-date= 2009-03-03 }}</ref> as part of the [[Pink Chaddi Campaign]] (Pink Underwear/Panties Campaign). Another group, [[Akhil Bharatiya Hindu Mahasabha]], threatened to do the same, for which it was severely mocked online<ref name=HinMaSValenOnline>{{cite magazine|title= Hindu Mahasabha becomes butt of jokes on Twitter for its Valentine's Day warning|magazine= India Today|date= 2015-02-04|url= http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/hindu-mahasabha-becomes-butt-of-jokes-on-twitter-for-its-valentine-day-warning/1/416961.html|access-date= 2015-05-06|archive-date= 2015-04-24|archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20150424042724/http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/hindu-mahasabha-becomes-butt-of-jokes-on-twitter-for-its-valentine-day-warning/1/416961.html|url-status= live}}</ref> and on the day after [[Valentine's Day]], had protesters outside its Delhi headquarters, with people (mockingly) complaining that it did not fulfill its "promise",<ref name=HinMaSValProtest>{{cite news |author= Vijetha S.N. |title= Love in the time of Hindutva |newspaper= The Hindu |date= 2015-02-15 |url= http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/love-in-the-time-of-hindutva/article6897213.ece |access-date= 2015-05-06 |archive-date= 2016-11-11 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20161111121143/http://www.thehindu.com/todays-paper/tp-national/love-in-the-time-of-hindutva/article6897213.ece |url-status= live }}</ref> with some having come with materials for the wedding rituals.

In India, parents sometimes participate in websites designed to match couples,<ref name="twsDecH36ff2">{{cite news |author=Lavina Melwani |year=2010 |title=The Mating Game |work=Little India |url=http://www.littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html |url-status=dead |access-date=2010-12-08 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20101214193331/http://littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html |archive-date=2010-12-14 |quote=Matrimonial sites ... Even parents approve, because young people get to know each other – without physical contact! Parents get to check the details important to them and the couple can connect at many levels. While parents and family members post the resumes of a prospective bride or groom, ...}}</ref> with some offering to organize double or group socialising.<ref name="twsDecIv25">{{cite news |date=September 13, 2010 |title=Business Rx: Dating Web site eTourage seeks to find more love |newspaper=The Washington Post |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/10/AR2010091006531.html |access-date=2010-12-09 |quote=...The site then creates a double or a group date with sets of mutually interested couples... |archive-date=2013-07-26 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130726120129/http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/10/AR2010091006531.html |url-status=live }}</ref>

==== Japan ====
There is a type of courtship called ''Omiai'' in which parents hire a matchmaker to give resumes and pictures to potential mates for their approval, leading to a formal meeting with parents and matchmaker attending.<ref name=twsDecI34dd /> If the couple has a few rendezvous, they are often pressured by the matchmaker and parents to decide whether or not to marry.<ref name=twsDecI34dd>{{cite news
 |title       = Courtship
 |newspaper   = China Daily
 |quote       = In Japan, ... Omiai,... Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates, ...
 |date        = 2009-10-16
 |url         = http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110723130129/http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |archive-date = 2011-07-23
}}</ref>

==== Korea ====
The reasons for courtship in Korea are various. Research conducted by ''Saegye Daily'' showed that teenagers choose to keep company for reasons such as "to become more mature", "to gain consultation on worries, or troubles", or "to learn the difference between boys and girls", etc.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.naver.com/main/read.nhn?mode=LSD&mid=sec&sid1=102&oid=022&aid=0000146456|title=중학입학전 이성교제 76%|work=naver.com}}</ref> Similarly, a news report in ''MK Daily'' showed that the primary reasons for courtship for workers of around ages 20–30 are "emotional stability", "marriage", "someone to spend time with", etc.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=442164|title=MK News – '직장인 연애 목적 1위는 결혼이 아니다'|work=mk.co.kr|date=6 June 2013|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=19 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219084630/http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=442164|url-status=live}}</ref> An interesting feature in the reasons for courtship in Korea is that many Koreans are somewhat motivated to find a partner due to the societal pressure that often views single persons as incompetent.<ref name="news.kukinews.com">{{cite web|url=http://news.kukinews.com/article/view.asp?page=1&gCode=kmi&arcid=0006704337&cp=nv|title=[살며 사랑하며-안주연] 연애 난민|work=kukinews.com|date=9 December 2012|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=5 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141205121635/http://news.kukinews.com/article/view.asp?page=1&gCode=kmi&arcid=0006704337&cp=nv|url-status=live}}</ref>

Present Korean courtship shows a changing attitude due to the influence of tradition and modernization. There are a lot of Confucian ideas and practices that still saturate South Korean culture and daily life as traditional values.<ref>[[Korean Confucianism#Contemporary society and Confucianism]]</ref> Patriarchy in Korea has been grounded on Confucian culture that postulated hierarchical social orders according to age and sex.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Kim|first1=Kwang-ok|chapter=The Reproduction of Confucian Culture in Contemporary Korea: An Anthropological Study |title=Confucian Traditions in East Asian Modernity|date=1996|publisher=Harvard University Press}}</ref> Patriarchy is "a system of social structure and practices in which men dominate, oppress and exploit women” which is well reflected in the ways of courtship in Korea.<ref>{{cite journal|title=|journal=The Review of Korean Studies|date=2002|volume=5|issue=2|page=9}}</ref>{{full citation needed|date=April 2023|reason=Missing title}} Adding to it, there is an old saying that says a boy and a girl should not sit together after they have reached the age of seven. It is one of the old teachings of Confucianism<ref>{{cite web|url=http://terms.naver.com/entry.nhn?docId=2015363&cid=4386&categoryId=4386|title=남녀칠세부동석|work=naver.com}}</ref> and reveals its inclination toward conservatism.

Most Koreans tend to regard courtship as a precursor to marriage. According to a survey conducted by Gyeonggi-do Family Women's Researcher on people of age 26–44, 85.7% of respondents replied as ‘willing to get married’. The market for marriage agencies are growing continuously.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=1203881|title=MK News – "배우자나 찾아볼까"…불황에도 '잘나가는' 결혼정보회사|work=mk.co.kr|date=29 November 2013|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=19 December 2014|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219084612/http://news.mk.co.kr/newsRead.php?year=2013&no=1203881|url-status=live}}</ref> DUO and Gayeon are one of the major marriage agencies in Korea. Also, "Mat-sun", the blind date which is usually based on the premise of marriage, is held often among ages of late 20s to 30s.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.acrofan.com/ko-kr/live/news/20130124/00000008|access-date=2017-03-14|date=2013-01-24|title=미혼女 35%, '나이들수록 맞선상대 단점 부각'|trans-title=Unemployed women, 35%|language=ko|website=acrofan.com|archive-date=2016-04-21|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160421013529/http://www.acrofan.com/ko-kr/live/news/20130124/00000008|url-status=live}}</ref> But the late trend is leaning towards the separation between courtship and marriage unlike the conservative ways of the past.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.ebuzz.co.kr/news/min/2646961_4993.html|archive-url=https://archive.today/20140626204244/http://www.ebuzz.co.kr/news/min/2646961_4993.html|url-status=dead|archive-date=2014-06-26|title=애인과 결혼이 망설여지는 이유는 무엇?}}</ref> In the survey conducted by a marriage agency, of 300 single males and females who were asked of their opinions on marrying their lovers, about only 42% of the males and 39% of the females said yes.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.munhwa.com/news/view.html?no=20120914MW155627466399|title=미혼남녀 절반이상 '연애 상대와 결혼, 글쎄'|work=munhwa.com|date=2012-09-14|access-date=2017-03-14|trans-title=More than half of unmarried men and women|language=ko|archive-date=2017-06-27|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170627122643/http://www.munhwa.com/news/view.html?no=20120914MW155627466399|url-status=live}}</ref> There are also cases of courtship without the premise of marriage. However, the majority still takes getting into a relationship seriously.

Courtship in Korea is also considered a necessary activity supported by society.<ref name="news.kukinews.com" /> Korean adults are constantly questioned whether or not they are courting by the people around them.<ref name="news.kukinews.com" /> During family gatherings on holidays one of the questions that people hate getting asked the most is related to marriage.<ref name="news1.kr">{{cite web|url=http://news1.kr/articles/1005265|title=명절 스트레스 1위 질문 "결혼은? 애인은? 애는?"|work=News1|date=9 February 2013|language=ko|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=15 March 2023|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230315072318/https://www.news1.kr/articles/1005265|url-status=live}}</ref> According to a survey it was the highest ranked at 47.3 percent.<ref name="news1.kr" />

College students in their sophomore to junior year who have not been in a relationship feel anxious that they are falling behind amongst their peers. Most of them try "sogaeting", going out on a blind date, for the first time to get into a relationship. Courtship is a duty that most people feel they must take on to not seem incompetent.<ref name="h21.hani.co.kr">{{cite web|url=http://h21.hani.co.kr/arti/special/special_general/36496.html|title=[제1000호]연애, 마침내 '스펙'이 되다 : 특집일반 : 특집 : 뉴스 : 한겨레21|work=hani.co.kr|language=ko|access-date=2023-03-15|archive-date=2023-03-15|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230315072323/https://h21.hani.co.kr/arti/special/special_general/36496.html|url-status=live}}</ref>
In recent trends, even dramas such as “”Shining Romance” (“빛나는 로맨스”), and “Jang Bo-ri is Here!” (“왔다 장보리”),  and in a variety show called, “Dad! Where Are We Going?” (“아빠 어디가?”) there are elementary children confessing their love.

Courtship has also been depicted to be an activity of fun and happiness. There are Korean TV programs that film celebrities together as married couples supporting this depiction of courtship such as “We Got Married” (“우리 결혼했어요”), “With You” (“님과 함께”) and “The Man Who Gets Married Daily” (“매일 결혼 하는 남자.”)<ref name="h21.hani.co.kr" />

According to a survey by wedding consulting agency, men consider a physical relation as a catalyst of love, otherwise, women regard it as a confirmation of affection. Adding to it, both 79.2% of men and 71.0% of women stated that how deep their physical relation in courtship is concerned in the decision of whether to marry.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://news.donga.com/3/all/20080710/8600934/1|title=연인들의 스킨쉽…男 '사랑의 촉진제', 女 '애정확인'|work=donga.com|date=10 July 2008|language=ko|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=15 December 2018|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20181215122924/http://news.donga.com/3/all/20080710/8600934/1|url-status=live}}</ref>

==== Pakistan ====
Marriages and courtship in [[Pakistan]] are influenced by traditional cultural practices similar to those elsewhere in the [[Indian subcontinent]] as well as [[Muslim]] norms and manners. Illegitimate relationships before marriage are considered a social taboo and social interaction between unmarried men and women is encouraged at a modest and healthy level. Couples are usually wedded through either an [[arranged marriage]] or [[love marriage]]. Love marriages are those in which the individuals have chosen a partner whom they like by their own choice prior to marriage, and usually occur with the consent of parents and family. Arranged marriages on the other hand are marriages which are set and agreed by the families or guardians of the two individuals where the couple may not have met before. In either cases and in consistency with traditional marital practices, individuals who marry are persuaded to meet and talk to each other for some time before considering marrying so that they can check their compatibility.

==== Singapore ====
[[Singapore]]'s largest courtship service, SDU, [[Social Development Unit]], is government-run. The original SDU, which controversially promoted marriages among university graduate singles, no longer exists today. On 28 January 2009, it was merged with SDS [Social Development Services], which just as controversially promoted marriages among non-graduate singles. The merged unit, SDN Social Development Network seeks to promote meaningful relationships, with marriage touted as a top life goal, among all resident [Singapore] singles within a conducive network environment of singles, relevant commercial and public entities.

==== Taiwan ====
{| class="wikitable" style="float:right;"
|-
|+ '''Survey of Taiwan students'''
|-
! Statement
! Agree
|-
| Hopeful they'll find a relationship
| 37%
|-
| Have no clear idea how to approach someone who interested them
| 90%
|-
| "Changes of heart" and "cheating" cause breakups
| 60%
|-
| Willing to resume relationship if problems are resolved
| 31%
|-
| Having more than one relationship at a time isn't good
| 70%
|-
| Women who won't enter a relationship if man lives too far away
| 70%
|-
| Women who believe height in men matters
| 96%
|-
|....source: ''China Daily''<ref name=twsDecI19 />
|
|}
One report suggested that in southern [[Taiwan]], "traditional rules of courtship" still apply despite the influence of [[popular culture]]; for example, men continue to take the initiative in forming relationships.<ref name=twsDecI19>{{cite news
 |title= Traditional courtship still fashionable
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |date= 2009-02-12
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/hkedition/2009-02/12/content_7467580.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2009-09-13
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20090913053150/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/hkedition/2009-02/12/content_7467580.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> A poll in 2009 of students at high schools and vocational schools found that over 90% admitted that they had "no clear idea of how to approach someone of the opposite sex who interested them". What caused relationships to break up? 60% said "changes of heart" or "cheating". Courtship with more than one person at a time was not permissible, agreed 70%.

==== Iran ====
Legally people of different sexes are not allowed to "mix freely" in public.<ref name=twsDecI42 /> Since 1979, the state has become a religious autocracy, and imposes Islamic edicts on matters such as courtship. Clerics run officially sanctioned internet courtship agencies with strict rules.<ref name=twsDecI42 /> Prospective couples can have three meetings: two with strict supervision inside the center, and the third being a "brief encounter on their own"; afterwards, they can either (1) choose to marry or (2) agree to never see each other again.<ref name=twsDecI42 /> This has become the subject of a film by Iranian filmmaker Leila Lak.<ref name=twsDecI42>{{cite news
 |title= Clerical Cupid: A Muslim cleric runs Iran's first officially sanctioned internet dating agency.
 |publisher= Al Jazeera
 |quote= In Iran ... where the different sexes are not allowed to mix freely, meeting Mister or Misses Right is not easy. ...
 |date= 1 Feb 2009
 |url= http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/witness/2009/01/2009127111331384698.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2009-07-13
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20090713040915/http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/witness/2009/01/2009127111331384698.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Iran has a large population of young people with 70 percent of the 83-million population being under the age of thirty.<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> However, economic hardship discourages marriage, and divorce rates have increased in [[Tehran]] to around a quarter of marriages,<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> even though divorce is taboo.<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> While the Iranian government "condemns courtship and relationships", it promotes marriage with (1) online courses (2) "courtship classes" where students can "earn a diploma" after sitting through weekly tests and "hundreds of hours of education" (3) "marriage diplomas" (4) matchmaking and arranged marriages.<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> Authorities push a conservative approach and shun unmarried romantic relationships and encourage "traditional match-making".<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> But young people have disobeyed the restrictions; one said "It is wiser to have different relationships" and believed in defying religious rules which suggest "short-term illegitimate relationships harm dignity".<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> Adultery can be punished by death.<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> While youths can flout selected restrictions, there are almost no instances in which unmarried people move in together.<ref name=twsDecIv15 /> There have been efforts to promote ''[[Nikah mut‘ah|Sigheh]]'' (temporary marriage).<ref name=twsDecIv15>{{cite news
 |author      = AFP
 |title       = Islamic Iran offers 'courting' diplomas to cut divorce
 |work        = France 24
 |date        = 15 March 2010
 |url         = http://www.france24.com/en/20100315-islamic-iran-offers-courting-diplomas-cut-divorce
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20111126031311/http://www.france24.com/en/20100315-islamic-iran-offers-courting-diplomas-cut-divorce
 |archive-date = 26 November 2011
}}</ref>

Whilst the practice of so-called "white marriage" (cohabitation) is trending,<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.latimes.com/world/middleeast/la-fg-iran-white-marriage-20150529-story.html |title='White marriage' a growing trend for young couples in Iran |website=[[Los Angeles Times]] |date=29 May 2015 |access-date=2023-05-18 |archive-date=2023-03-21 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230321053525/https://www.latimes.com/world/middleeast/la-fg-iran-white-marriage-20150529-story.html |url-status=live }}</ref> it is illegal.<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://life.irna.ir/news/84873529/%D9%88%D8%B6%D8%B9%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%86%D9%81%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%DB%8C-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA |title=وضعیت قانونی و تبعات منفی «همباشی سیاه» چیست؟ |date=31 August 2022 |access-date=2023-05-18 |archive-date=2022-09-14 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20220914095642/https://life.irna.ir/news/84873529/%D9%88%D8%B6%D8%B9%DB%8C%D8%AA-%D9%82%D8%A7%D9%86%D9%88%D9%86%DB%8C-%D9%88-%D8%AA%D8%A8%D8%B9%D8%A7%D8%AA-%D9%85%D9%86%D9%81%DB%8C-%D9%87%D9%85%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B4%DB%8C-%D8%B3%DB%8C%D8%A7%D9%87-%DA%86%DB%8C%D8%B3%D8%AA |url-status=live }}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.dw.com/fa-ir/%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%B3%D9%81%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%BA%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%B3%D8%A8%DA%A9-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B9%DB%8C/a-45206118 |title=ازدواج سفید: تغییر سبک زندگی در ایران یا معضل اجتماعی؟ – Dw – ۱۳۹۷/۶/۲ |website=[[Deutsche Welle]] |access-date=2023-05-18 |archive-date=2023-02-04 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230204201450/https://www.dw.com/fa-ir/%D8%A7%D8%B2%D8%AF%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%B3%D9%81%DB%8C%D8%AF-%D8%AA%D8%BA%DB%8C%DB%8C%D8%B1-%D8%B3%D8%A8%DA%A9-%D8%B2%D9%86%D8%AF%DA%AF%DB%8C-%D8%AF%D8%B1-%D8%A7%DB%8C%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%86-%DB%8C%D8%A7-%D9%85%D8%B9%D8%B6%D9%84-%D8%A7%D8%AC%D8%AA%D9%85%D8%A7%D8%B9%DB%8C/a-45206118 |url-status=live }}</ref><ref>{{Cite news |url=https://www.radiofarda.com/a/29792241.html |title=خامنه‌ای: از صد سال پیش با ازدواج سفید به دنبال نابودی خانواده هستند |newspaper=رادیو فردا |access-date=2023-05-18 |archive-date=2023-05-11 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230511040553/https://www.radiofarda.com/a/29792241.html |url-status=live |last1=فردا |first1=رادیو }}</ref>

==== Israel ====
In Israel, in the secular community, courtship is very common amongst both heterosexual and homosexual couples. However, because of the religious community, there are some religious exceptions to the courtship process. In the [[Haredi]] and [[Chasidic]] communities (Ultra-Orthodox Judaism) most couples are paired through a matchmaker. <!-- ARTICLE ABOUT DATING NOT MARRIAGE; NO CITES ANYWAY: In this arranged marriage system, young adults meet a couple times under the supervision of their parents, and after they meet, the two are asked whether they will agree to be married.

Furthermore, [[Marriage in Israel|in terms of marriage]], because the state religion is essentially Orthodox-Judaism, Conservative and Reform (Liberal denominations of Judaism) Jews cannot get married through a Conservative or Reform Rabbi without the approval of the State's Orthodox Head Rabbi.

There are similar problems in Israel for people of different denominations of other religions as well. Essentially, if you live in Israel, and the head of your religion doesn't want you to get married, you can't get religiously married.

Because people of two different religions or people of the same sex cannot get married in Israel, people in these situations oftentimes have to go overseas to get married since Israel does recognize overseas marriages. -->

==== Lebanon ====
One report suggests courtship is hampered by "the weight of family demands upon individual choice" and that there were difficulties, particularly for people seeking to marry across religious lines, such as a Christian seeking to marry a Muslim.<ref name=twsDecI44>{{cite news
 |author= Jim Quilty
 |title= Lebanon News: A 'Stray Bullet' lands in Cairo
 |newspaper= The Daily Star
 |date= December 9, 2010
 |url= http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1&categ_id=4&article_id=122311#axzz17eeyoIZM
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2007-01-05
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20070105195337/http://www.dailystar.com.lb/article.asp?edition_id=1#axzz17eeyoIZM
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

=== North America ===
==== United States====
{{see also|History of courtship in the United States}}
One report suggested the [[United States]] as well as other western-oriented countries were different from the rest of the world because "love is the reason for mating", as opposed to marriages being arranged to cement economic and class ties between families and promote political stability.<ref name=twsDecM11 /> Courtship–known there as '[[dating]]'–by mutual consent of two single people, is the norm. British writer [[Kira Cochrane]], after moving to the U.S., found herself grappling with the American approach to courtship.<ref name=twsDecH27a134k /> She wondered why it was acceptable to juggle "10 potential partners" while weighing different attributes; she found American-style dating to be "exhausting and strange".<ref name=twsDecH27a134k>{{cite news
 |author= Kira Cochrane
 |title= Should I follow any rules?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= In the US, ... it was perfectly acceptable to juggle 10 potential partners or more while weighing up their relative attributes. ...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225010919/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> She found courtship in America to be "organized in a fairly formal fashion" with men approaching women and asking point blank for a date; she found this to be "awkward".<ref name=twsDecH27a134k /> She described the socially constructed “third date rule" which was that women were not supposed to have sex until the third date even if they desired it, although men were supposed to try for sex.<ref name=twsDecH27a134kaa>{{cite news
 |author= Kira Cochrane
 |title= Should I follow any rules?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= I also learned of the third-date rule – the most central and widely recognised of all dating rules – which decrees that there should be no sex until the third date,..
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225010919/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> She wrote: "Dating rules almost always cast the man as aggressor, and the woman as prey, which frankly makes me feel nauseous."<ref name=twsDecH27a134kaa /> [[Canada|Canadian]] writer [[Danielle Crittenden]], chronicling female angst, criticized a tendency not to take courtship seriously and suggested that postponing [[marriage]] into one's thirties was problematic:<ref name=twsFebL25a>{{cite news
 |author= Danielle Crittenden
 |title= What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman (book excerpt)
 |publisher= The New York Times: Books
 |year= 1999
 |url= https://www.nytimes.com/books/first/c/crittenden-mothers.html
 |access-date= 2011-02-12
 |archive-date= 2012-10-05
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20121005030612/http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/c/crittenden-mothers.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

{{Blockquote|By waiting and waiting and waiting to commit to someone, our capacity for love shrinks and withers. This doesn't mean that women or men should marry the first reasonable person to come along, or someone with whom they are not in love. But we should, at a much earlier age than we do now, take a serious attitude toward dating and begin preparing ourselves to settle down. For it's in the act of taking up the roles we've been taught to avoid or postpone––wife, husband, mother, father––that we build our identities, expand our lives, and achieve the fullness of character we desire.|Danielle Crittenden, 1999|<ref name=twsFebL25a />}}

Journalist [[Emily Witt]] in 2016 wrote that while "social mores had changed to accept a wider range of sexual practices", there was still much "loneliness and anxiety".<ref name="twsNYT1vcv" /> She traveled to [[San Francisco]] and began dating a lot, using Internet dating services and apps, and sometimes going to singles' bars alone, only to find that the "romantic-comedy concept of love" with a "perfect, permanent, tea-for-two ending" was not going to happen to her.<ref name="twsNYT1vcv">{{cite news
| author= Casey Schwartz
| date= August 26, 2016
| newspaper= The New York Times
| url= https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/28/fashion/sex-dating-books-single-women.html
| title= Sex and Dating: Now the Thinking Gal's Subject: The writer Emily Witt in the woods near her family's home in rural New Hampshire, where she often retreats to write.
| access-date= August 29, 2016
| quote= ...At 30, the writer Emily Witt found herself single and heartbroken ... intent on examining the mythology around how life for women ... Ms. Witt, now 35. ... nonfiction seeks to blend personal writing with social analysis...
| archive-date= August 28, 2016
| archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20160828140420/http://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/28/fashion/sex-dating-books-single-women.html
| url-status= live
}}</ref>

There is evidence that couples differ in the pace and timing with which they initiate [[sex]] in their relationships. Studies show that approximately 50% of [[premarital]] young adult couples become sexually involved within the first month of dating, while 25% initiate sex one to three months after beginning to date and a small proportion of couples wait until [[marriage]] before initiating sexual relations.<ref>Busby, D. M., Carroll, J. S., & Willoughby, B. J. (2010). Compatibility or restraint? The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships. Journal of Family Psychology, 24(6), 766–774. doi:10.1037/a0021690</ref>

Teenagers and college-aged students tend to avoid the more formal activity of dating, and prefer casual no-strings-attached experiments sometimes described as '[[wikt:hookup|hookup]]s'. It permits young women to "go out and fit into the social scene, get attention from young men, and learn about sexuality", according to one report by [[sociology|sociologists]].<ref name=twsDecM12b>{{cite news |author1=Elizabeth A. Armstrong |author2=Laura Hamilton |author3=Paula England |author3-link=Paula England |title=Is Hooking Up Bad For Young Women? |publisher=American Sociological Association |date=Summer 2010 |url=http://contexts.org/articles/summer-2010/is-hooking-up-bad-for-young-women/ |access-date=2010-12-13 |archive-date=2015-01-02 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20150102213041/http://contexts.org/articles/summer-2010/is-hooking-up-bad-for-young-women/ |url-status=live }}</ref> The term ''[[Hookup culture|hookup]]'' can describe a wide variety of behavior ranging from kissing to non-genital touching; according to one report, only about one third of people had [[sexual intercourse]].<ref name=twsDecM12b /> A contrary report, however, suggested there has been no "sea change" in sexual behavior regarding college students from 1988 onwards, and that the term ''hookup'' itself continued to be used to describe a variety of relationships, including merely socializing or passionate kissing as well as sexual intercourse.<ref>Brian Alexander, NBC News, August 12, 2013, [http://www.today.com/health/new-study-hooking-finds-no-sexual-sea-change-6C10904068 New study on ‘hooking up’ finds no sexual sea change] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230316143624/https://www.today.com/health/new-study-hooking-finds-no-sexual-sea-change-6C10904068 |date=2023-03-16 }}, American Sociological Association, retrieved Aug. 12, 2013</ref>

Muslims living in the United States can choose whether to use traditional Islamic methods, or date American-style; Muslims choosing to stick to Islamic tradition can "only marry another Muslim", according to one Malaysian account. Mosques have been known to try to bring people together––one in California has a dating service for Muslims.<ref name=twsDecI43>{{cite news
 |title= Malaysia wakes up to child abuse
 |publisher= Al Jazeera
 |quote= The western practice of dating is clearly out, and according to Islamic tradition, a Muslim can only marry another Muslim....
 |date= 11 Feb 2008
 |url= http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/everywoman/2007/11/2008525184826117228.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2008-10-15
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20081015115729/http://english.aljazeera.net/programmes/everywoman/2007/11/2008525184826117228.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

=== Europe ===

==== United Kingdom ====
[[File:Frédéric Soulacroix - Flirtation 2.jpg|thumb|right|Flirting, aristocratic-style<br />Painting by Frédéric Soulacroix (1858–1933)]]
In Britain, if two people are 'going out together' their relationship has normally advanced to a relatively long-standing and sexual boyfriend-girlfriend relationship although they are not cohabiting. Writer [[Kira Cochrane]] advises to "get out there and meet people" while noting a trend of temporary suspension of marriage until an individual reaches his or her thirties.<ref name=twsDecH27a134kcc>{{cite news
 |author= Kira Cochrane
 |title= Should I follow any rules?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= The problem with most dating rules, ... They make a game and a chore out of something that should be natural and fun and overwhelming.
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225010919/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/rules-of-dating
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> She sees a trend for developing new ways of meeting people.<ref name=twsDecH27a134kcc /> In contrast, writer Bibi van der Zee found etiquette rules to be helpful, and found that supposedly liberated advice such as "just be yourself" to be the "most useless advice in history".<ref name=twsDecH27b11aa>{{cite news
 |author= Bibi van der Zee
 |title= Play by the Rules
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= There is a whole generation of children of the 70s – like me – who never had any useful dating advice from our liberated mums beyond...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/the-rules-guide-to-dating
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225013722/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/the-rules-guide-to-dating
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> She expresses frustration following fruitless sexual relationships, and that her mid twenties saw relationships with partners who were less willing to return phone calls or display interest in long-term commitment. She felt "clueless and unwanted", she wrote, and found advice books such as ''The Rules'' helpful.<ref name=twsDecH27b11bb>{{cite news
 |author= Bibi van der Zee
 |title= Play by the Rules
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= My self-esteem was on the floor and I had no idea what to do about it: like every other woman I knew I felt clueless and unwanted. ...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/the-rules-guide-to-dating
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151225013722/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/the-rules-guide-to-dating
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> British writer Henry Castiglione signed up for a "weekend flirting course" and found the experience helpful; he was advised to talk to and smile at everyone he met.<ref name=twsDecH27caa>{{cite news
 |author= Henry Castiglione
 |title= Who's a cheeky boy then? Can newly-single and clumsy-with-women Henry Castiglione master the fine art of flirting in one weekend?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= I needed to learn some new moves, so I signed up for a weekend flirting course. ...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/art-of-flirting-course-guide
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2014-11-17
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20141117071501/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/art-of-flirting-course-guide
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Emailing back-and-forth, after meeting on a website, is one way to get to know people in Britain, and elsewhere.<ref name=twsDecH27der1>{{cite news
 |author= Marc Zakian
 |title= Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= ... The most appealing kind of email to send is friendly, funny and flattering, ... Don't write a tome or reveal too much, and don't suggest meeting up right away.
 |date= 26 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/online-dating-etiquette-advice
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2015-12-24
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20151224203906/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/online-dating-etiquette-advice
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

In the UK, one estimate from 2009 was that 15 million people are single, and half of these are seeking a long-term relationship; three-quarters of them have not been in a relationship for more than 18 months.<ref name=twsDecH34c /> A Pew study in 2005 which examined Internet users in long-term relationships including marriage, found that many met by contacts at work or at school.<ref name=twsDecH19e>{{cite news
 |first1= Mary Research Specialist
 |last1= Madden
 |first2= Amanda Senior Research Specialist
 |last2= Lenhart
 |title= Online Dating: Americans who are seeking romance use the internet to help them in their search, but there is still widespread public concern about the safety of online dating
 |publisher= Pew Internet & American Life Project
 |date= September 2005
 |url= http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2006/Online-Dating/01-Summary-of-Findings.aspx
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101128034411/http://www.pewinternet.org/Reports/2006/Online-Dating/01-Summary-of-Findings.aspx
 |archive-date= 2010-11-28
 |url-status= dead
 }}</ref> In a twelve-month period, the average number of assignations that a single person will have is four.<ref name=twsDecH34c>{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= 15 million people in the UK are currently estimated to be single.
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> When courting, 43% of people 'google'  potential partners ahead of time.<ref name=twsDecH34d>{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= 43% of people Google their first date before they meet them.
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Almost five million Britons used websites in the past twelve months.<ref name=twsDecH34c /> A third admitting to lying on their profile.<ref name=twsDecH34c /> A fifth of married individuals between 19 and 25 met their spouse online.<ref name=twsDecH34c /> One poll in 2009 of 3,000 couples suggested that the average duration of their courtship period, between first meeting to the acceptance of a marriage proposal, was three years.<ref name=twsDecI34cc>{{cite news
 |title       = Courtship
 |newspaper   = China Daily
 |quote       = In the United Kingdom, a poll of 3,000 engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months, ...
 |date        = 2009-10-16
 |url         = http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110723130129/http://www1.chinadaily.com.cn/language_tips/auvideo/2009-10/16/content_8802864_2.htm
 |archive-date = 2011-07-23
}}</ref> In 2017 Britain online fraud victim numbers were at record high. According to the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau, there were 3,889 victims of so-called romance fraud in 2016.<ref>{{cite news
 |title= Online dating fraud victim numbers at record high
 |work= BBC News
 |quote= According to the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau, there were 3,889 victims of so-called romance fraud last year, who handed over a record £39m...
 |date= 2017-01-23
 |url= https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38678089
 |access-date= 2023-03-15
 |archive-date= 2023-03-15
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20230315072316/https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38678089
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> who handed over a record £39m. Online safety in the UK is a concern for authorities and individuals.

==== German-speaking countries ====
[[File:Wilhelm Gause Ball der Stadt Wien 1904.jpg|thumb|Ball of City of [[Vienna]] (1900)]]
While analysts such as [[Harald Martenstein]] and others suggest that it is easier for persons to initiate contact in America, many Germans view the American dating habits as "unspontaneous", "ridiculous" and "rigid".{{Citation needed|date=February 2011}} Until the 1960s, countries such as [[Germany]], [[Switzerland]] and [[Austria]] had a more formal approach for first contacts that was eased during seasonal festivals like [[Carnival in Germany, Switzerland and Austria|carnival]] and festivals and [[Travelling funfair|funfairs]] like the [[Oktoberfest]], which allowed for more casual flirts.<ref>Politik in einer deutschen Kleinstadt, [d. i. Bretten], Enke, Stuttgart 1970, {{ISBN|3-432-01618-2}}, Benita Luckmann</ref>

Membership in [[voluntary association]]s is relatively high in German-speaking countries and these provided further chances for possible partners to meet. Strolling on [[Esplanade]]s and Promenade walkways such as the one in Hamburg called the [[Jungfernstieg]] (maidens way), have been another venue for introductions as early as the 19th century. Analyst [[Geoffrey Gorer]] described 'dating' as an American [[idiosyncrasy]] focusing on youth of college age and expressed in activities such as American '[[prom]]s'. In contrast German speaking countries and the longstanding musical tradition there provided ample opportunity of persons of varying ages enjoying social dances, such as the [[Vienna Opera Ball]] and other occasions.

Romantic encounters were often described with [[French language|French]] terms like [[wikt:rendezvous|rendezvous]] or [[wikt:tête-à-tête|tête-à-tête]]. The [[German language|German]] term of ''Stelldichein'' (as translated by [[Joachim Heinrich Campe]]s) is used to signify courtship when the age of consent to marriage was relatively high. German traditions to signify lovers who met in hiding were described with terms like ''Fensterln'' (windowing) or ''Kiltgang'' (dawn stroll) used in [[Bavaria]] and [[Switzerland]].<ref Name=mart>[http://www.zeit.de/2009/28/Martenstein-28 "No talk, no deal" Unser Kolumnist versteht endlich die amerikanischen Regeln der Partnerwahl] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230315073723/https://www.zeit.de/2009/28/Martenstein-28 |date=2023-03-15 }} (Our Commentator finally understands the American Rucles of choosing a partner) [[Harald Martenstein]], [[Die Zeit]]  29 June 2009</ref> Analyst Sebastian Heinzel sees a major cultural divide between American courtship habits and European informality, and leads to instances in which European expatriates in cities such as [[New York, New York|New York]] keep to themselves.<ref>[http://www.tagesspiegel.de/zeitung/das-war-so-nicht-verabredet/v_default,1061296.html Das war so nicht verabredet! This we haven't agreed upon!] {{Webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110126094031/http://www.tagesspiegel.de/zeitung/das-war-so-nicht-verabredet/v_default,1061296.html |date=2011-01-26 }} Tagesspiegel 7 October 2007, Sebastian Heinzel</ref>

Today, most German couples in long-term relationships get to know each other through mutual friends, at work or while going out at night; the first few months of courtship often involve sexual intercourse, but are still rather casual and do not imply a serious wish to get married.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.bild.de/ratgeber/partnerschaft/dating/hier-lernen-sich-die-meisten-paare-kennen-28022476.bild.html|title=Wo findet man einen Partner? Studie zeigt: Freunde, Bar, Arbeit – und Internet|work=BILD.de|date=10 January 2013|access-date=15 March 2023|archive-date=15 March 2023|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230315072319/https://www.bild.de/ratgeber/partnerschaft/dating/hier-lernen-sich-die-meisten-paare-kennen-28022476.bild.html|url-status=live}}</ref>

==== Italy ====
Italians maintain a conservative approach to courtship. Also, inviting friends or relatives during a rendezvous is not uncommon. More modern approaches such as 'blind dates,' 'speed dating' and websites are not as popular as abroad, and are not considered very effective by the majority of the population.{{Citation needed|date=September 2021}}

=== Oceania ===

==== Australia ====
A study revealed that 50% of Australians agreed it was permissible to request to 'go out' via a text message but not acceptable to break up this way.<ref name=twsDecNfaas>{{cite news
 |author= Vanessa Fuchs
 |title= Shy guys switching on to text message courtship – and girls say it's OK
 |newspaper= Courier-Mail
 |quote= ... men are more likely than women to ‘flirtext’ but for those who consider themselves in a relationship, women are more likely to engage in the activity.
 |date= June 16, 2010
 |url= http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/shy-guys-switching-on-to-text-message-courtship-and-girls-say-its-ok/story-e6frer4f-1225880329000
 |access-date= 2010-12-14
 |archive-date= 2012-08-16
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120816063204/http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/shy-guys-switching-on-to-text-message-courtship-and-girls-say-its-ok/story-e6frer4f-1225880329000
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Flirting while texting, dubbed ''flirtext'', was more likely to be done by girls after a relationship was started.<ref name=twsDecNfaas /> A survey of newspaper readers suggested it was time to abandon the "old fashioned rule" of men paying for the first outing, based on women's greater earning capacity.<ref name=twsDecN45k>{{cite news
 |author= Jane Lee
 |title= Modern couples 'should abandon old-fashioned rules' of dating
 |newspaper= The Daily Telegraph
 |date= October 25, 2010
 |url= http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/money/money-matters/cheap-dates-for-more-luck-at-love/story-fn300aev-1225943068369
 |access-date= 2010-12-14
 |archive-date= 2012-11-18
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20121118120305/http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/money/money-matters/cheap-dates-for-more-luck-at-love/story-fn300aev-1225943068369
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

=== South America ===

==== Brazil ====
In Brazil there is a longer time interval before children move out of the house, which affects courtship.<ref name="twsDecIv26">{{cite news|url=http://www.gringoes.com/articles.asp?ID_Noticia=2143|title=Ask a Brazilian: Differences and Love|date=June 23, 2008|website=Gringoes.com|quote=For me, the main difference between Brazilians and Americans is that you are less dependent when it comes to family.|author=Vanessa|access-date=2010-12-09|archive-date=2011-02-04|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110204032150/http://gringoes.com/articles.asp?ID_Noticia=2143|url-status=dead}}</ref> As a result, parents offer advice about courtship although it may not be heeded.<ref name=twsDecIv26 />

== LGBT+ ==
{{Expand section|date=July 2020}}
[[File:Two homosexual man holding hands.jpg|thumb|A [[same-sex relationship|same-sex]] male couple holding hands on the street|150px]]
Courtship behavior of [[non-heterosexual]] individuals does not always reflect their self-ascribed&nbsp;[[sexual orientation]]. Some of them recognized from early age that they are attracted to the [[homosexuality|same sex]] or [[bisexuality|both]]/[[pansexuality|all sexes]], but may initially adhere to [[heterosexual]] norms in their courtship behaviors. Some individuals who identify as [[LGBT+]] in one way or another but are [[questioning (sexuality and gender)|questioning]] or have not [[Coming out|come out]] to their peers and family may wait years before they start courting their preferred sex.<ref>{{Cite web
|last=DiDonato
|first=Theresa E.
|date=October 11, 2019
|title=Why Bisexual People Face Unique Dating Challenges
|url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201910/why-bisexual-people-face-unique-dating-challenges
|url-status=live
|access-date=2021-07-08
|website=Psychology Today
|language=en
|archive-date=2023-03-19
|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230319151014/https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201910/why-bisexual-people-face-unique-dating-challenges
}}</ref>

According to a ''[[Psychology Today]]'' report, men who identify as [[homosexual]] recognize their same-sex attraction in their late teens or early twenties, and they tend to care more about [[physical attraction|physical attractiveness]] than the status of a prospective partner.<ref name=twsDecM21>{{cite magazine
 |author= Douglas T. Kenrick
 |title= Homosexuality: A queer problem: A few puzzles about homosexuality, some still unsolved
 |magazine= Psychology Today
 |quote= ...homosexual men are most attracted to men in their late teens and early twenties...
 |date= June 9, 2010
 |url= http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/201006/homosexuality-queer-problem
 |access-date= 2010-12-13
}}</ref> Men who identify as homosexual, on average, tend to have more sexual partners, while women who identify as [[lesbian]] tend to form steadier one-on-one relationships, and tend to be less promiscuous than heterosexual women.<ref name=twsDecM21 />{{dubious|date=December 2019}}<!-- This is an overly broad generalization -->

In [[India]], [[transgender]] individuals and [[eunuchs]] have used [[internet dating]] to help them find partners, but there continue to be strong societal pressures which marginalize them.<ref name=twsDecIv13>{{cite news
 |author      = AFP
 |title       = India's transsexuals try Internet dating
 |work        = France 24
 |date        = 29 December 2009
 |url         = http://www.france24.com/en/node/4957949
 |access-date  = 2010-12-09
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20110122083221/http://www.france24.com/en/node/4957949
 |archive-date = 22 January 2011
}}</ref>

== Matchmakers ==
{{Main|Matchmaking}}
{{how-to section|date=July 2020}}
[[File:Gerrit van Honthorst - De koppelaarster.jpg|thumb|right|''The Matchmaker'' <br />painting by Gerard van Honthorst (1590–1656)]]
People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Matchmaking is an art based entirely on hunches, since it is impossible to predict with certainty whether two people will like each other or not. "All you should ever try and do is make two people be in the same room at the same time", advised matchmaker Sarah Beeny in 2009, and the only rule is to make sure the people involved want to be set up.<ref name=twsDecH27ee3>{{cite news
 |author= Hannah Pool
 |title= What friends are for ... Hannah Pool was a matchmaking cynic – until she was set up with her current partner four years ago. So what advice does she have for potential matchmakers?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= "All you should ever try and do is make two people be in the same room at the same time," says Sarah Beeny, founder of matchmaking website mysinglefriend.com. The most important rule is to make sure the people involved actually want to be set up; ...
 |date= 28 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/guide-to-dating-matchmaking
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2019-04-02
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20190402072302/https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/guide-to-dating-matchmaking
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> One matchmaker advised it was good to match "brains as well as beauty" and try to find people with similar [[religion|religious]] and [[politics|political]] viewpoints. They added that finding like-minded people results in more matches, although acknowledged that opposites sometimes attract.<ref name=twsDecH27ee4>{{cite news
 |author= Hannah Pool
 |title= What friends are for ... Hannah Pool was a matchmaking cynic – until she was set up with her current partner four years ago. So what advice does she have for potential matchmakers?
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= Match brains as well as beauty, and don't forget about religious and political views. Sure, opposites sometimes attract but more often than not they repel.
 |date= 28 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/guide-to-dating-matchmaking
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2019-04-02
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20190402072302/https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/guide-to-dating-matchmaking
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref>

=== Friends as matchmakers ===
Friends remain a common way for people to meet.<ref name=twsDecH21>{{cite news
 |author= Sharon Jayson
 |title= Internet changing the game of love
 |newspaper= USA Today
 |quote= Meeting through friends was also commonly cited by those in the 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey, co-directed by sociologist Edward Laumann of the University of Chicago. That survey questioned 3,300 adults ages 18 to 59....
 |date= 2010-02-10
 |url= https://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2012-06-28
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120628203421/http://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> However, the Internet promises to overtake friends in the future, if present trends continue.<ref name=twsDecH21d>{{cite news
 |author= Sharon Jayson
 |title= Internet changing the game of love
 |newspaper= USA Today
 |quote= "People who met 20, 25 or 30 years ago were more likely to mention co-workers," he says, and people who met in the past 10 years "were less likely to mention co-workers."
 |date= 2010-02-10
 |url= https://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2012-06-28
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120628203421/http://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref><ref name=twsDecH21 /> A friend can introduce two people who do not know each other, and the friend may play matchmaker and send them on a [[wikt:blind date|blind date]].

=== Family as matchmakers ===
Parents, via their contacts with associates or neighbors or friends, can introduce their children to each other. In [[India]], parents often place matrimonial ads in newspapers or online, and may post the resumes of the prospective bride or groom.<ref name=twsDecH36ff>{{cite news
 |author      = Lavina Melwani
 |title       = The Mating Game
 |work        = Little India
 |quote       = Matrimonial sites ... Even parents approve, because young people get to know each other – without physical contact! Parents get to check the details important to them and the couple can connect at many levels. While parents and family members post the resumes of a prospective bride or groom, ...
 |year        = 2010
 |url         = http://www.littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |access-date  = 2010-12-08
 |url-status     = dead
 |archive-url  = https://web.archive.org/web/20101214193331/http://littleindia.com/news/134/ARTICLE/1871/2007-09-03.html
 |archive-date = 2010-12-14
}}</ref>

=== Matchmaking systems and services ===
Matchmaking systems can be systematic and organized ways to improve [[matchmaking]] by using rules or technology. The meeting can be in-person or ''live'' as well as separated by time or space such as by [[telephone]] or [[email]] or chat-based. The purpose of the meeting is for the two persons to decide whether to go out together in the future.

==See also==
* [[Arranged marriage]]
* [[Bekisa]]
* [[Courtship disorder]]
* [[Courtship display]]
* [[Dating]]
* [[Haptic communication]]
* [[Human mating strategies]]
* [[Hypergamy]]
* [[Love letter]]
* [[Marriage in China|Flash marriage]]

==References==
{{Reflist}}

==Further reading==
* {{cite book |title=Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating |author=Moira Weigel |year=2016 |publisher=Farrar, Straus and Giroux |isbn=978-0374182533}}
* Holloway, Sally (2024). “The Real Rules of Courtship: Dating in the Regency Era.” https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/masterpiece/specialfeatures/the-real-rules-of-courtship-dating-in-the-regency-era/#

==External links==
{{wikiquote}}
{{wiktionary}}
{{Commons category|Courtship}}
* {{cite web |url=http://www.bioexpedition.com/sea-turtle-reproduction/ |title=Sea Turtle Reproduction |website=BioExpedition |date=2015}}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Okuayama | first1 = J. | last2 = Kagawa | first2 = S. | last3 = Arai | first3 = N. | year = 2014 | title = Random Mate Searching: Male Sea Turtle Targets Juvenile for Mating Behavior | url = https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281129700 | journal = Chelonian Conservation and Biology | volume = 13 | issue = 2 | pages = 278–282 | doi = 10.2744/CCB-1086.1 | s2cid = 86574012 }}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Stewart | first1 = K. R. | last2 = Dutton | first2 = P. H. | year = 2014 | title = Breeding Sex Rations in Adult Leatherback Turtles (Dermochelys coriacea) May compensate for Female-Biased hatchling Sex Rations | doi = 10.1371/journal.pone.0088138 | pmid = 24505403 | pmc = 3913748 | journal = PLOS ONE | volume = 9 | issue = 2 | pages = 1–5 | bibcode = 2014PLoSO...988138S | doi-access = free }}
* Stevenson-Hamilton, J (1912) ''Animal Life in Africa''. New York: E. P. Dutton and Company.
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* Mason, k. 2013. [http://animaldiversity.org/accounts/Hippopotamus_amphibius/ "Hippopotamus amphibius"], Animal Diversity Web. Accessed 8 December 2015.
* {{cite journal | last1 = Klingel | first1 = H. | year = 1995 | title = Fluctuating fortunes of the river horse. (Cover story) | journal = Natural History | volume = 104 | issue = 5 | page = 46 }}
* Sandigeo Zoo library (2001). Hippopotamus, Hippopotamus amphibious, & Pygmy Hippopotamus, Cheoropsis liberiensis. Revised 2011. [https://web.archive.org/web/20180720200538/http://library.sandiegozoo.org/factsheets/hippo/hippo.htm#7 Archived] 8 December 2015.
* Fletscher, D. J. C.; Tribe, G. D. Natural emergency queen rearing by ''apis mellifera adansonii'' ii. In ''African Bees: Taxonomy, Biology and Economic Use''; Fletscher, D. J. C., Ed.; Apimondia: Pretoria, South Africa, 1977; pp.&nbsp;132–140.
* {{cite journal | last1 = Heidinger | first1 = Ina Monika Margret |display-authors=et al | year = 2014 | title = Factors Influencing the Duration and Frequency of Nuptial Flights | journal = Insects | volume = 5 | issue = 3 | pages = 513–527 | doi=10.3390/insects5030513 | pmid = 26462822 | pmc = 4592583 | doi-access = free }}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Sabar | first1 = Nassar | last2 = Ayob | first2 = Masri | last3 = Kendall | first3 = Graham | last4 = Qu | first4 = Rong | year = 2012| title = A honey-bee mating optimization algorithm for educational timetabling problems; | journal = European Journal of Operational Research | volume = 216 | issue = 3 | pages = 533–543 | doi=10.1016/j.ejor.2011.08.006| citeseerx = 10.1.1.298.7164 }}
* {{cite journal | last1 = Neumann | first1 = Peter | last2 = Moritz | first2 = Robin F. A. | last3 = Praagh | first3 = Jobvan | year = 1999 | title = Queen mating frequency in different types of honey bee mating apiaries | journal = Journal of Apicultural Research| volume = 38 | issue = 1–2 | pages = 11–18 | doi=10.1080/00218839.1999.11100990| bibcode = 1999JApiR..38...11N }}

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[[Category:Dating]]
[[Category:Social constructionism]]